Im just a person reading a text post but it feels to me like he is trying to get you to breakup with him.

This may not be what you want to hear.

It sounds like he's given up on his relationship but doesn't want to be the one to cut the cord.

One of my friend recently was telling me. He's divorced by the way so take this with that in mind.

Sometimes people stay in relationships because of comfort and it's easier to be in a relationship versus being alone.

IDK I don't know about you and your personal situation.

Hope my take helps but it's your decision to make what to do from here.

He told me that sometimes he just doesn't feel like responding to me anymore

People normally like talking and hanging out with people they like. He used to and now he doesn't? Kinda seems like he wants a change but isn't willing to be the one to bring it up.

Sounds almost exactly how I treated some of my past partners at the worst of my depression. All of them said in one way or another "you don't seem depressed," too. It's worth noting for you that the symptoms of depression between men and women are pretty different and most popular media projects the "woman" symptoms onto men with depression.

All of them eventually broke up with me and I'd have done the same thing in their shoes.

He is tired of you but doesn't have the courage to leave the relationship. Its pretty typical.

If you changed your appearence in the last 3 years and maybe put on extra weight, that could absolutely be a factor too.

He is listening to music to avoid the talk. Because he knows that discussion may tear the relationship apart, and he doesn't want to be alone (just guessing). Or he wants to be alone but is too "nice" to tell you that he wants out. Also the third behavior, to act as if everything is fine, is about avoiding the big talk.

Obviously everything is not fine and you need to have that serious talk, and if you don't get honest answers, you should break up with him.

He could still love you, but could be that he is not attracted to you anymore, and he feels ashamed about that too. I don't know. Just talk.

If he is not going to be honest, you can't fix the problem. You are doing more then your part in trying to understand and fix it. He must too.

Honestly? If he's not being responsive and just flat-out won't talk about whatever the issue is, you're probably better off just cutting your losses now. Why continue to put yourself through this when he doesn't seem to care?

It takes two people to make a relationship work. It sounds like you are making the effort but he has disengaged.

I think you have done everything you can to get him to engage and see your concerns, what you want from him and how to save this relationship.

I think you know you're at a crossroads hence asking for advice.

You have to ask yourself a question: do you enjoy being in this relationship now? Forget about how it used to be, the question is the way the relationship is right now - is this adding to your life, does it make your life better, is it making you happier?

If the answer is no then I think it's time to move on. There is no point wasting time in a relationship that is not going anywhere. You've given him the opportunity to be better, or to share what's going wrong if there is a problem. Now it's time for you to make a decision on what to do next.

Its always hard when a relationship comes to an end, but beware the sunken cost fallacy. Just because you have put lots of time and effort and emotion into this relationship, it doesn't mean it's worthwhile continuing on doing that.

Ultimately there may be someone else for you who can offer you what you want, and would be happy to be with you. So while it's scary ending a relationship, this does open the door to future happiness with someone else.

I wouldn't go an hour and a half for this. You can't know what's in his head, he may love you but it sure sounds like you know you don't have a relationship you like.

If you were my son or daughter, I'd tell you to just ghost him, stop texting, he's not making any effort so why should you?

Does he acknowledge that something is different between you than before?

He told me that sometimes he just doesn’t feel like responding to me anymore, which again i understand

What exactly do you understand and why do you understand?

we don‘t talk much and we don‘t go outside either because he doesn‘t feel like it.

I asked him many times if he is okay and what‘s wrong but there is never anything wrong.

i had a terrible day and was crying on the train back home and he wasn‘t responding to me the whole day, so i texted my friend and she comforted me and offered to watch a movie online together when i am home. So i did that. My boyfriend was upset that i didn‘t call him when i got home and didn‘t want to speak to him after. I was hurt, because i really was struggling and i don‘t ask for help often but he wasn‘t there even though i know he was on his phone because i kept seeing his reposts.

Did you and him talk about emotional care, like how when one isn't available or stressed out over something, that it's OK to meet your emotional needs with other people like friends or so? Or what everyone would want or give in an emotional time?

Personally I don't think that you're asking for too much as relationships should be reciprocal in both love and effort.

Unfortunately it does sound like he's lost interest as they're unwilling in wanting to communicate which is one of the most crucial things in a relationship.

I'm sorry to hear that you've been doing all the hard lifting and that he's unwilling to reciprocate in celebrating your birthday and trying to maintain the relationship.

I'm no romatic relationship expert but my recommendation is to take some time to consider moving on as this doesn't sound healthy nor sustainable.

I'd also recommend in talking more with your friend about this and seeing what they think as they probably know you best.

Whatever path you take, power to you!✊🌻

Seems pretty clear to me that he doesn't have the courage to break up with you. I see that you're hurting. If you look at it through this lens, his behaviour will start to make sense to you.

He didn't even get me a small cake or a muffin, nothing.

what a bastard!

I believe you know the answers to your question.

What’s he going through? Closing down is a pretty good sign of depressIon. Perhaps he’s dealing with something that he doesn’t want to share, or feels he cannot share with you (not a bad thing). Bad job? Shitty family? Feelings of hopelessness? Maybe he just needs some space but doesn’t want to bring it up. Alone time is super important.

I think it might help to take a break from your expectations of him. Let him reach out. Find ways to entertain yourself without him for the short term. You could probably use a breather too. Do some things alone that you like to do. Give it some time to reset, and go from there.

I know this is easier said, but don’t worry so much, that rubs off.

Something that helps me a lot is taking a mini vacation. Get a hotel room, visit some museums, try a new restaurant. Do it all alone. DO YOU, I say in a daytime tv voice.

(Also, do shrooms. You’ll thank me later.)