How many times was Heinlein married?
Three.
His first marriage was a brief one. Her name is Elinor Lea Curry. They were married on June 21, 1929 and they divorced during October 1930. Robert was in the Navy during their brief marriage. There is evidence of friction between the two almost from the beginning of their marriage. She had her own plans which were different from Robert’s.
The second marriage was to Leslyn MacDonald in 1932. They divorced in 1947. Despite her later problems with alcoholism, and the failure of their marriage, Leslyn was clearly an extraordinary woman, intelligent and talented. Her influence on Heinlein’s early works cannot be ignored. Robert tried to help her with no success. Her father was an alcoholic and had severe problems. When Robert recognized that she, too, was having problems he took her to a psychiatrist. It didn’t help.
Leslyn was born 29 Aug 1904 in Massachusetts and died 13 April 1981 in California. She remarried to a man named Mocabee. She had no children.
Heinlein’s third marriage was to Virginia Doris Gerstenfeld, called “Ginny”. They married in October 21, 1948 and shared what was considered by those who knew them to be an ideal marriage. Ginny Heinlein was born 22 April 1916 in New York and died 18 January 2003 in Florida. Ginny was, without doubt, the basis of many, if not most, of Heinlein’s strong, capable female characters, in particular Hazel Stone. Ginny was brilliant and perfect for Robert. A highly educated person she was the source of many ideas for his stories. She read them all before they were sent to his agent. She recommended changes and it is said that she had the story idea for Stranger in a Strange Land.
I went through menopause just a few years ago. It threw everything into an upheaval. Thank goodness I didn’t have a partner to be like this to, but therapy definitely helped. She is absolutely going through a lot, physically and mentally, and will be for years. I still have hot flash episodes for weeks at a time and it’s always different.
Your feelings are valid. You have every right to them. Just because someone is going through chemical changes in their body doesn’t mean they can abuse you like this. Telling you that you have no right to your feelings is emotional abuse and she has no right to do that to you. You both need help to get through this, whether separate or together, but this is all new and for you to be told to sit down and shut up is just heartbreaking. Everything happening to her is also happening to you because it seems to me that she’s taking it all out on you and yeah, that affects you.
You are not dumb or stupid. You are caring and sympathetic to what she’s going through, and she reacts to this with hostility and arrogance. I can’t imagine anyone is obligated to put up with that from anyone, for any reason. It might change in time, but not if she never acknowledges the validity of your feelings and your right to have them.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you.