I moved back in with my parents at 35 a couple years ago after personal financial ruin.
CW: Suicide
I was so depressed at the time that I told them they should let me die because I didn't want to be a financial burden on them.
That's how seriously money was weighing on my mind at the time.
All I knew about my parents finances before yesterday was that they had multiple high-interest credit cards nearly maxed out. I knew this because my mom has shared the account login credentials with me.
All I could think about was getting a job ASAP to help the family stay of the streets, but I was too depressed to function.
Yesterday after a long conversation, my mom shows me her Merrill Lynch account on her iPad. It has a balance of over $128k. All stocks.
My mom has been squirreling every dollar she can into it for the past thirty years.
I clicked "max" on the balance history. The balance used to be over $600k but she makes a lot of trades.
I'm going through a lot of emotions rn.
I'm approaching 40 and I think about twink death often. Most people guess 22 for my age but I know I can't hold it off forever. I have a solid sunscreen and tretinoin routine but my dysmorphia is such that I may add botox and anabolic steroids to the mix. I have poor self-esteem as it is, so I won't be able to cope if I stop being hot.