vestmoria

more than a question, this is just something that popped in my mind after taking a week off work already, a week without work means free time to hate the job you have, but in my case more than that I've been thinking about my childhood, my parents, my extended family, our holidays together, how insignificant we humans are, how fragile and short life is, how fast time goes by and how much I don't want to work.

I guess this is cliche, but when I had to work I didn't question my job this much, didn't think about my childhood or my dreams, I simply wanted to get the job done, go home, eat and disconnect till the next day. I was like a machine, or a moron.

I'll be a moron again when I have to work again. I don't want to work.

It's like I'm a different person when I'm not working.

Is this dangerous? People too busy with work don't think like this.

I want to write poetry, lay on the sun in summer, listen to the cicadas, eat oranges and apples, listen to relaxing music. I want to play the guitar.

my father is religious, I'm not and I don't care what happens to my body after I die. Burn me, use me to feed stray cats.

To me, wasting money to buy a plot of land so I may be buried with them when I die is a stupid idea.

It is, however, his money. Who am I to disagree with him?

We do exactly the same job.

To me the idea of enjoying a job is an odd one: I don’t want to work, I only work because I need the money. If I had money I wouldn't work.

I don't know if this makes me the oddest person on earth, but where I am my coworkers sometimes make me feel so.

She asked me if I enjoy my job. I looked at her surprised while thinking to answer her with a regular blanket manager answer like ‘it is such a honor to work here, fuck yeah, I’d love to work here for free!’ or being completely sincere.

I was in a good mood, so I chose being sincere: ‘I don’t enjoy working, I work because I need to pay for the rest of my life, I enjoy cooking, writing poetry and walking through a forest.’

She looked at me a bit surprised and replied: ‘but you have to like your job.’ My answer? ‘As long as I earn money all’s good.’

This happened in a big room with like 9 coworkers hearing the convo.

Now I don’t know if I just committed job suicide where I work at, but it was liberating saying out loud at the workplace what I think a job is.

And why the fixation that you must like a job? It’s a job for fucks sake. Why do you have to like it?

To me this only confirms my current job is a cult. Am I exaggerating?

If every workplace is like this I should stick with the devil I know...

you be the judge: the extra, unpaid hours most people willingly do setting the expectation you do that too, some people coming in 30 minutes before the shift starts and proud of it (what for? Are you going to be paid more?), obsession with presenting a good image to both coworkers and clients, the fake interest in getting to know you, conversations that feel scripted, forcing you to share about you, controlling the way you speak, yelling at the foreign coworkers when they don’t speak English among themselves, taking your breaks together with the whole group, ostracizing you if you want to take your break alone, getting snippy if you state boundaries (“I don’t talk about that with coworkers”), some people ranting openly and loudly in a room full of people about a coworker they don’t like for whatever perceived sling, your manager expecting you to enjoy her stories (no, I don’t really care about you, Andrea), then expecting you to be the one doing the most demanding tasks nobody wants to do.

I even have coworkers complaining I waste too much paper and that’s bad for the company. Who gives a flying fuck about that Karen? I really don’t understand why some people are like this.

Holy shit, I was so naive. I don’t know if every workplace is like this, but I just didn’t question it and went along with it because 2 years ago the workplace seemed good enough and pays better than everyone around afaik. I don’t know if I should look elsewhere.

If I start applying elsewhere, do I even mention this? Because I don’t want this to happen to me again.

There is a chance this also happens elsewhere. Do I stick with the devil I know?

I don't understand his strategy, he answers the prosecutor' questions extremely vaguely. I don't know if I could act like that if called as a witness.

Is this something I should imitate when dealing with HR?

I don't understand why how he answers is not lying.

On an email with my manager I described a coworker I only worked with once as a small, thin woman that was either born in an East Asian country or has East Asian parents. I don't know this person's name. I don't see a better way to describe her all things considered.

The managers answer: it is disrespectful to describe people according to ethnic background or physical appearance.

My next question for this manager: dear manager, how should I describe this person then?

I don't know if I'm being genuinely disrespectful or this is a very thin skinned manager. Either way, I had to work with another coworker I didn't know either. This conversation with manager B ensued:

manager B: 'today you're working with mike'

me: 'who's mike?'

manager B: 'that fat guy'

make it make sense.

I don't know if I'm a low key alcoholic or so cheap because in my past I was homeless and dependent on the charity of (sometimes) strangers and feel I only "deserve" alcohol when it's on sale.

I know binge drinking is stupid, I know if I drink more than a pint of beer without food my stomach feels bad and I feel dizzy, but each time I find beer on sale I buy at least a 6 pack (6 pints). I then promise myself to drink it within several days, not all within 3 days, but something snaps in me each time I open the fridge and see all that beer. I sometimes drink 2 pints a day till I have no more beer.

The only thing stopping me from buying beer every day is the price: if beer is not on sale, I don't buy it.

Beer is the only alcoholic drink I buy, I cannot tolerate anything else.

There are much healthier alternatives there, like tea, milk or juicy fruits, but my brain still associates beer with a good time, which is very ironic, because now, after drinking almost a pint, I have a headache. It doesn't even taste as good as I thought it would.

Another thing that stops me from drinking more is reading about other alcoholics, their regrets and health issues, but my brain still "wants" the beer.

To be even more ironic, I usually run 2 miles and do some stretching and yoga before going to work, but yesterday and today I was so tired I skipped this routine and started drinking.

Am I a high functioning alcoholic?

How do I stop being so fixated on alcohol on sale?

I've seen several posts of people asking for advice on situations like this with so many answers suggesting OP to fight back, document and contact the union, but this seems too much work for an unconvincing result, because there is no way a manager is going to fire an employee or a clique for a "he claims she claims" situation.

Manager, employer, even the union, will listen to you, play theatrics and change nothing hoping you forget.

Walking away, while making you feel like a loser, seems to be the sane choice long term. Cliques are gonna clique.

Maybe you can think of a better way?

on my last thread somebody wrote that unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments.

I'm guilty of this, I'm a nurse: after changing units an expectation was that the new one would be one where the physical workload would be evenly distributed. Another expectation and a promise from management was that my new unit would assign a nurse I'd shadow during my first days to get a grip of the unit. The third expectation was that I could do my job and use my downtime to learn.

None of these things are happening.

How do I stop having expectations?

ETA: A problem I see with this approach is: if every job turns out to be shit like this, why even bother? My new attitude should be go to work, work the least possible, fake it, play theatrics to do as little as possible, go home, get paid. No expectations = no disappointments.

But then, why even advance to ICU-nursing, get certifications or study medicine?

This is nursing, my 7th day of employment at a new unit. Coworker is in her early 60s on the fatter and smaller side, walks slowly, bouncing her whole body to left and right, is slow giving report, even though she has less patients than me and feels entitled not to deliver and pick up trays or drinks to patients, the whole 24 of them, looking for stuff to do at the computer when the time comes, conveniently sitting, while the rest of us do her effing job. Last time we had shift together I invited her to work with us, which she ignored.

I dread the day I have a shift alone with her with no helper. This unit seems to be perpetually understaffed: Normal seems to be 2 RN for the whole unit when there should be 3. If we’re lucky, we get a helper (not a RN).

On one hand I feel I should tolerate it because she is almost a senior and apparently is difficult for her to walk.

But this feelings of compassion disappear when I see her pretending to be busy while I’m moving patients, delivering trays, preparing drinks and sometimes feeding them. Her entitlement expecting I do her job no questioning it is what irks me the most. Employee me says escalate, make known this bothers me this much, but don’t know what an appropriate reaction to this looks like.

As said, I just started working there 7 days ago. She’s been at this unit much longer than me, which means management must know and tolerate this. Nursing is known for cliques.

I couldn't come with a better title.

As previously explained, I changes wards, a doctor working for more than 35 years at my old unit wrote me an excellent recommendation letter and I went my merry way to my new ward, hoping to find something new.

I introduced myself to nurses and some doctors there. Because the nurses were yelling and punching tables, something I'd never seen from nurses, I started a conversation with the doctors about what abbreviations they use there (completely foreign to me), if they allow their nurses to take blood samples or arterial and venous blood gas probes, to decide if a patient needs blood cultures, to do an EKG without consulting a doctor first, what emergencies they have there...

I had lucky with one of the doctors who answered all my questions.

The next day, my new boss comes to me saying people complained about me talking to the doctors, accused me of playing being a doctor.

I asked if the doctor who answered my questions, Schimdt, complained. My boss refused to identify the person who complained.

My reaction to that was to say that this person could have talked to me instead of escalating, I also told my boss that I'm going to ask no matter what because I want to be a better nurse and the best suited people to do that are doctors (because most of the nurses only want to gossip, whereas doctors are more cerebral and explain correlations, I didn't say this out loud).

His answer was telling me to stop talking to the doctors, otherwise there would be consequences.

2 hours after he left an Anesthesiologist I didn't know came to check some PCAs, so me being me, started asking questions about the device and given that I'm thinking about studying medicine I asked about it and he told me where he studied, what he did afterwards, started showing me the documentation anesthesiologists use.

This is something I cannot avoid, I like talking to smart people. My new boss seems to be like my old one, only wanting dumbed down nurses.

Other nurses I asked at the unit told me that no, I'm not supposed to be smart, but just a drone.

It's ridiculous I have to censor myself. The best I can think of is to play theatrics while he's at the unit but be me when he leaves.

If you claim I'm talking to the doctors as an excuse not to do my job, you are wrong. I need the money and I use my downtime to learn.

It's true that people believe what they want to believe and judge you in 5 seconds.

Is there a better strategy than playing theatrics?

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/2362831

I don't know how extended this is, but apparently there are car makers selling cars with no keys. Instead you download a proprietary app and use it to access your car.

I like being practical and talking to a car to turn the volume up or down, to open the door or to turn the temperature higher are things I don't need nor want. Give me mechanical levers, reachable stalks and no proprietary bloatware. I don't need a movie theater on wheels.

Imagine an early 2000s car running on an electric motor. That's what I want.