To be fair, DCC is not cyberpunk. I've read ... all of the hugo and nebula winners. Plus the top 100 sci fi books. Also every major sci fi major series from the masters (Dune, Foundation, Ringworld, Culture, Heechee, Hyperion... etc etc).
Yeah ... a LOT of sci fi.
Now having said all of that. DCC is an amazing series ... IF AND ONLY IF, you read it as intended as an extremely DARK traumatic post apocalyptic alien invasion series. Yeah it is lit-rpg, but those elements virtually get lost in the amazing storytelling and intricate plot. I'm talking Nabokov plot level here.
Unfortunately, a lot of people read DCC as a fun dungeon crawler book and seem to gloss over the true terror/horror the characters are going through.
So if you are looking for a fun/dark read, its 100% worth it as long as you read past the first level. (and its pretty easy to do so!)
I have so many questions and points to raise.
Did you always feel like this since childhood, as long as you can remember? Or is this something that has developed over time.
As others are saying I would go seek a diagnosis, as at least SOME interactions should NOT feel like pure obligation.
More specifically, if you have always felt like this see point 2. But If you have not always felt like this, look back to see that last person you actually enjoyed interacting with. What made that interaction different from all the rest of your interactions?
Mostly, as I dont want this to be TOO much of an echo-chamber, I enjoy interacting with lots of people that I care about ... and I care about a LOT of people. Mind you I dont enjoy interacting with everyone. But I have made it a goal, at least in the past, to find something interesting in everyone.
I dont think its necessary to life to enjoy interacting with everyone, BUT ... ... if you dont find anyone you can interact with and find it to be a pleasurable experience then you probably either need some help or need to find new people to associate with.
I'm not sure how i turned out this way, but I just dont give a @#%$(@#&* about what other people think about me (unless i respect them!). So I've lived my life in a way that has made me happy, mostly outside of the norms of society.
Yes, to some degree we have to be different for different situations, but I'd argue that they are just different facets of who i am. I'm no more false when I'm at work than when I'm hanging with my friends or chilling with my partner.
I have no clue if you will even ever read this, but if i could suggest one thing that MIGHT be the tiniest bit helpful, try finding ways to help people out. Compliment people (but only when you really mean it). Find ways to be kind. Interactions are only meaningful when they are real.
Maybe ill get slaughtered for this post. But the disconnect makes me sad.