wit

Oh ya, asymmetric relationships are horrible. You did good in stopping it. You will feel much better once you let time heal you.

Good luck brother.

As the other person suggested, look into Grindr. But also know that not everyone is a good person and not everyone is truthful. You should always practice safe sex. Look into PREP and always wear a condom. "Receiving his loads inside" is definitely something you should think twice. I would suggest to not do that, but you do you.

I also have these bouts of depression. They come and go. What works for me is keeping busy. Just doing anything helps me. Just move. Laying in bed is the worst thing to do when that happens. This is my advice to him.

My advice to you is the following: Be there for him. That is all you can do. If you were physically close to each-other, I would suggest to just snuggle/cuddle. Human contact helps. But you are in a long-distance relationship, so that is a no go. Send him voice messages instead of chat? Let him know you like him. Let him know he is important to you. Let him know you are there for him.

Regardless, thank you for caring about him. Compassion, empathy and kindness are the best qualities anyone can have.

I liked watching wrestling just to see all the muscular guys... Also, in school, I crushed on a few guys.

Though when imagining a family, I always pictured myself with a girl. Seeing myself with a guy was just.. weird and a little bit uncomfortable. I think that was internalized homophobia. When I imagine a "family" now, I definitely see myself with a boyfriend and not a girlfriend. In fact, I find the opposite now, picturing myself with a girl gives me the "yikes, disgusting".

The goal of the community seems slightly different. And also the community name itself.

Oh, I did not know about this. What a horrible name, in my opinion... I will keep !wheretopost@lemmy.world as I think it has the better community name.

100% agree that this would be a nice job for AI. I have no idea how to do that though. If anyone wants to create a Bot that does this, please do so and let me know! I will do whatever I need to do on my end, if anything, to allow it on !wheretopost@lemmy.world.

Yes, that is totally fine. Thank you for posting!

I can post it to !lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/anarchism. Though people subscribed to anarchy probably already know of that. I dunno any other sub in which to post it. Maybe !youshouldknow@lemmy.world?

We have been very transparent about that and documented that in the wiki which is linked in the sidebar. But it seems few people ever read the Wiki and having it integrated like it is with Piefed would probably help.

Oh ya. I knew about that, and I am fine with that. Though I think having it behind a link is bad UI. People will not read it haha.. It should be presented on account creation, in my opinion. Just 1 sentence "This instance is ran on private hardware and may suffer some down time here and there" would suffice.

Well, I got no reply and I didn't see anyone else in the "mods:" bit in the bottom of the sidebar on slrpnk.net. I understand that having more admins wouldn't help in this specific case, but it would help in others.

Regardless, having a public lemmy instance only ran by 1 person is, in my opinion, a bad practice. And please know that I am not personally attacking you. I am just stating my thoughts. This time you were out on a work deployment. Next time you could be sick. The next time maybe a family member had an emergency and you had to help. And the next time maybe your house caught fire or whatever.

Resilience and redundancy is extremely important in public lemmy instances. And SolarPunk is, in my opinion, all about community. There should be more (trustworthy) people with the same level of access as you do.

Regarding the price and all that, maybe that is an interesting discussion to have with the slrpnk.net community? And it would also be good to let slrpnk.net users know how the instance is being ran, what hardware, where, etc, so users can be an educated decision on whether they want to see an instance or not? Maybe providing that info on the sidebar would be nice?

But again, shit happens. Hopefully this serves as a learning event. If not, so much shit is going through the world, losing a lemmy instance is not something about which one should lose sleep.

EDIT: I may be missremembering about the whole "something similar happened a few months ago and my question about new admins was ignored"... I think that might have been on mander.xyz and not slrpnk.net. I really can't fully remember, but I think it was mander.xyz after-all. Sorry! The rest of the post stands though!

I am a slrpnk user. Oh well, shit happens. What makes me a bit sad was that a few months (?) ago something similar happened. Slrpnk.net was down for aa day or two? Don't remember the exact amount of time. What I do remember is asking if there was intention of adding a second admin and making the point that it would be good to create that sort of redundancy. I was ignored.

Mid of july is basically 1 and a half months from now. Hopefully a new solarpunk instance emerges, one that is safer from such scenarios.

Enjoy your vacation and don't stress too much! Shit happens.