Greatest Generation

When a Starfleet propulsion expert comes aboard with an alien assistant, Commander Riker isn’t buying any of their bullshit. But after his experiment goes wrong and the Entrepreneur is stranded far from home, the very chill Traveller takes an interest in Wesley and helps bring the ship back safely. How is the piper paid? Does a starship use car math or boat math? Who is the Rudy of this story? It’s the episode with a little bit of terror mixed into the benign.

When the Entrepreneur is sent to rescue some miners on Janus VI, their ages are not what anyone expected. But after an important implement is stolen by a mysterious monster, it’s a race against time to avoid losing their lives. Is there such a thing as an old bold miner? Does a three minute response time satisfy anyone? Can you have a face not even a mother could love? It’s the episode that needs to cogitate in private!

When the Entrepreneur chases a ship that’s really dragin’ a wagon, nobody thinks to try hailing before acts of violence are attempted. But when Riker expresses a little too much enthusiasm for the Ferengi way of life, he gets banished to the engine room. What’s on the business end of a ball-kicking machine? How could Ben put Adam into cardiac arrest? How do you cover up literally any editing mistake? It’s the episode with shades of yellow.

When the Entrepreneur visits a decimated colony on Omicron Ceti III, the away team is surprised to find a group of happy survivors thriving on a vegetarian diet. But after Spock gets sprayed by a flower and everyone refuses to leave paradise, Kirk has to start pissing people off to break the happiness spell. How did the Berthold rays over promise and under deliver? Which piece of equipment is very absent in this story? What’s the biggest green flag for a Federation citizen? It’s the episode that didn’t tie up its loose ends.

When Ligon II has a rare vaccine and the Federation needs it bad, Picard welcomes Luton aboard only for him to abduct Lt. Yar with a side hug. But after she’s challenged to a dual by the leader’s first wife, her success in combat topples his house of cards. Is there an aspect of Ligonian culture that we kind of agree with? Which uncle-related landmine did we not manage to avoid? What’s the opposite of Alien vs Predator? It’s the episode that’s willing to defend itself.

When the Entrepreneur finds an Earth vessel from the mysterious 1990s, an away team beams aboard to wipe the frost off the sleeping crew’s glass. But after a Starfleet historian falls in love with Khan and helps him commandeer the ship, Captain Kirk retakes control and leaves the augments at Ceti Alpha V. When is a hot dog order heroic? Which original Uxbridge-Shimoda policy is still in place today? How is Montalban like Walken? It’s the episode that kicked the can so far down the road.

When a grumpy Ambassador forces the Entrepreneur to ignore a Code 710, an away team beams down and learns the crew has been designated casualties of war. But after Spock starts taking out security guards and Scotty threatens to blow up the planet’s buildings too, Kirk destroys a war computer to finally end the ancient conflict. Where does the generational trauma not stop? What’s worse than a living person being disintegrated? Who doesn’t get enough credit for being physically imposing? It’s the episode that set the stage for huge collars on Star Trek.

When the Entrepreneur finds an Earth vessel from the mysterious 1990s, an away team beams aboard to wipe the frost off the sleeping crew’s glass. But after a Starfleet historian falls in love with Khan and helps him commandeer the ship, Captain Kirk retakes control and leaves the augments at Ceti Alpha V. When is a hot dog order heroic? Which original Uxbridge-Shimoda policy is still in place today? How is Montalban like Walken? It’s the episode that kicked the can so far down the road.

When a grumpy Ambassador forces the Entrepreneur to ignore a Code 710, an away team beams down and learns the crew has been designated casualties of war. But after Spock starts taking out security guards and Scotty threatens to blow up the planet’s buildings too, Kirk destroys a war computer to finally end the ancient conflict. Where does the generational trauma not stop? What’s worse than a living person being disintegrated? Who doesn’t get enough credit for being physically imposing? It’s the episode that set the stage for huge collars on Star Trek.

When something goes terribly wrong on the SS Tsiolkovsky, an away team beams over and brings a lot of sweaty drunkeness back aboard. But after Wesley takes control of the ship and a nearby star explodes, Dr. Crusher works up a cure and Riker cleans up the party. Which office supply can fix a boat neck? Where should stupid space questions be directed? What’s the best thermostat setting for an orgy? It’s the episode with a big helping of reheated TOS lasagna.

When Captain Picard sets off on the D’s maiden voyage, his mission to open trade negotiations with the Bandi gets interrupted by the Q. But after Commander Riker realizes that Farpoint Station is too good to be true, Counselor Troi breaks out the thesaurus to help solve the crew’s first space mystery. Who is not at all prepared for this assignment? Which movie stills were on the mood board for the post-atomic horror? What exactly is wrong with the Lego D model? It’s the episode that hasn’t exactly figured things out yet.

When scouting a mixed-genre planet, Sulu calls for emergency beam out and arrives back on the Entrepreneur looking very refractory. But after Kirk and Spock raid the costume closet and head down to check things out, they meet members of the resistance and break into the server room to confront Landru. Which weird subreddits have entered the algorithim? How many ways can Reger be pronounced? What does a preschool do to tell all the L’Andrews apart? It’s the episode that’s rebranding adult underwear.

When we’ve reached the end of an era and only three packages remain, their contribution to the show’s well-documented problems makes it clear it’s time to turn off auto-renew. But after a bunch of FoD questions elicit some new ideas for the show, it seems we’re ready for 10 more years of indigestion and loose stool. Which type of museum would Ben and Adam open? What do wormhole aliens not care about at all? Who does Starfleet need to get into a uniform? It’s the episode that paints a Godfather-like scene.

When Captain Kirk demands his day in court, the evidence isn’t on his side and neither is an old flame. But after Spock starts kicking the computer’s ass at chess, they move the proceedings to the Entrepreneur so that Kirk can save the ship from another sweaty rambler. Which lesson could NuTrek take from this episode? What was the other name option for Jamie? When is it ok to put eggs down the garbage disposal? It’s the episode that doesn’t need to explain jettisoning the pod.

When Greatest Gen’s biggest fan returns for an anniversary interview, everyone can agree that a rewatch is just part of loving Star Trek. But after 10 years of growth and change, Star Trek is a place still stands and the overarching goal remains the same. How is this interregnum like a family Mexican restaurant birthday song? What is Cyrus sorry-not-sorry for? Which employee hasn’t lost their fastball? It’s the episode that gives you thoughtful Ben and Adam.

When Humberto’s documentary turns out to be a hit piece, asking squishy questions about colonialism leads to mostly having security footage. But after the weaponized Jikaru takes to space and can’t be controlled by the Entrepreneur, they grant its final wish in defiance of the Lutani. Who couldn’t be reached for an interview? When is an ECU not threatening? How would Scotty deal with an injured horse? It’s the episode with 9 million sprained ankles.

When the Entrepreneur happens upon some expanding space queso, they rescue an alien pod and find a hotboxing party guy inside. But after various types of tension start boiling over on the ship, the new mystery alien disappears with a vaguely Xindi threat. Where are there no rules about having a crock pot? Which kind of alien never gets considered on Star Trek? What has Dark Archer started calling the airlock? It’s the episode that’s exciting, but also shocking and disquieting.

When James T. Kirk is super bored as First Officer on the Farragut, his run of bad decisions starts even before a Trogdor attack thrusts him into command. But after Enterprise saves his ass and gets chomped by the scavenger ship instead, now Captain Kirk has to figure out his leadership style in time to set a trap and own the consequences. Who isn’t too old for a one-day pod turn? What will be the actual relics of our civilization? Which character would have been perfect for thruster duty? It’s the episode that’s also powered by aldentium.

When the Entrepreneur captures Degra and sets up an elaborate ruse, Captain Archer starts to gain his trust to extract more information about the weapon’s construction. But after getting wise to his circumstances and losing in close combat to Archer, Degra’s memory is wiped again after a risky double Barashing. What’s the only thing that foretells a ninja hippy? Where is it ok to have nine girlfriends? Which alien ship comes with a treasure chest? It’s the episode with a couple of regerttable tattoos.

When Ensign Gamble joins his first dustbuster club, he picks up a grenade and gets an emergency trip back to sicksbay. But after the rest of the team solves the escape room puzzle, Captain Batel goes Gorn on Gamble’s ghost and Pelia opts for maximum drama. What’s the only thing more embarrassing than being a documentary filmmaker? Who got a macaron for going poopoo in the potty? Why didn’t Chapel do bits on blood magic? It’s the episode that adds to the list of going concerns.

When La’an gets assigned to trash the holodeck during a neutron star mission, Scotty sets her up with a terrible crime to investigate. But after she requests some help and Spock joins the illusion, their lack of weird energy helps her solve the case in time to save the Entrepreneur. Who’s aggressively skating towards an award in this episode? Which character has ‘tism rizz? What needs to be more of a bit? It’s the episode that always nails the Riker maneuver.

When Shran rescues the Entrepreneur from a foamy green anomaly, his crew comes aboard to help with repairs while another Xindi weapon test gets underway. But after a disappointing result for Degra and a double-cross by the Andorians, Captain Archer wins the game of chicken and gets a mysterious message from a mission sympathizer. Which character can any freelancer sympathize with? When is it hard to balance the ledger? What’s next for the Ice Desk? It’s the episode that has a new favorite Enterprise alien.

When the protégés get an undercover mission to Solum, they don’t have Starfleet’s cover if they’re caught snooping around on the surface. But when they meet a pre-bad Asencia and immediately trust her completely, Gwyn’s decision to split up the team throws Wesley’s future calculations off. How is Seattle better than New York City? What does El Salvador have that Rura Penthe doesn’t? Who’s leaving bodies in the rocks? It’s the episode where fastidiousness wins over spite.