Relationship Advice

my bf alex (21m) always expects me (22m) to watch his movies, and his videos. and i do, and i watch all the tiktoks and instagram reels he sends me. but when i send him something, he doesn’t look at it and says “he’ll do it later” but doesn’t.

he also doesn’t like my interests at all and doesn’t want to do things with me, but wants me to do his interests like playing fortnite. i do not like fortnite at all.

So, this is a very complicated story and actually I feel like I'd have to write a book to explain it all. I'll keep it short and leave out a ton. I was severely bullied in school since grade one due to a skin condition. It doesn't matter which, it was very visible, all over my body. Teachers did nothing. It was the nineties in a small little village in the middle of nowhere. In third grade one teacher ask me why I don't take medicine or cover up with make-up so I wouldn't get bullied. My parents didn't do anything either, not even take me to a doctor.

In 7th grade my condition had gotten better, but now I was bullied for my clothes. My parents were horrible and didn't allow me to buy my own clothes, if I did I'd find it cut to pieces shortly after. My skin was also still not good, though not as severe. So I was bullied for dressing weirdly and for having bad skin. However in 7th grade I became part of a friendship group of 4. All outsiders for various reasons. And life was Ok. I still got bullied the most out of us four because of my skin. I was told to hide it with makeup and when I said I can't wear makeup due to allergic reactions the bullies said to "tough it out", because "noone wants to see that". I just stuck to our group and tried to ignore them. However in hindsight I feel like the other three never took the bullying seriously, since they were never the target. They were just more or less outsiders because they weren't interested in fashion, party etc.

One of the four was Lydia. Lydia didn't fit in because she was from an ultraconservative family and wasn't allowed to do many things. However, during our last two years of school her parents became less strict after her oldest brother moved out and cut contact at 18. She started hanging out with the others, going to parties etc. During our last few weeks I was repeatedly the butt of jokes. And she started defending my bullies, saying it's not that serious.

There was a kind of yearbook where everybody wrote comments about the classmates. The ones about me were all along the lines of "doesn't know what a shower is" "Someone please teach her about soap" and some nasty nicknames mocking my hobby I didn't even know they had for me. I've tried so often to defend myself and explain my skin condition and that it's genetic, yet up to the very last day everybody kept bullying me saying I'm dirty and disgusting.

I talked about it with my three friends and said I wanted to protest and have it taken out before the yearbook gets printed. (The list with everybodies comments had circled before printing.) Lydia told me I'm sensitive, that I shouldn't take it so serious and I shouldn't censor all critism of me. I was so shocked by her saying that. She used to be on my side.

Shortly after we graduated she moved away and didn't stay in contact. I tried a few times, said I could come visit her one day, but at first I only got one-sentence-answers, later nothing. I sent her a small gift and card on her first birthday after graduation, she replied with a short thanks, sent me a generic textmessage on my birthday and we never spoke again.

Now someone wants to organize the 20 year reunion of our highschool class. I was added to a whatsapp group - not sure where they got my number from - and Lydia contacted me. The usual small talk. How's life been, how many kids, yadada. I way shocked enough to be suddenly added to that group. It brought back so many bad memories, I wanted to cry, I wanted to write into the group how I wish they'd all die the most horrible, painful death. I didn't, I just left the group without any comment. I did answer Lydia and am doing the small talk, but inside all I want to ask is "how could you betray me like that? Why did you do that to me?"

I mean I guess I know the answer. I stayed losely in contact with another member of our group. A few month after graduation the topic came up and she said she didn't think I was bullied, because I "could have just covered up with makeup like they said I should and worn more fashionable clothes". Since I didn't, I chose to be ridiculed. I guess that would be the answer if I asked Lydia.

I don't know what kind of answer I'm expecting here, I'm just very confused and hurt and don't know how to behave. Ignore her? Block her? Ask her about it? Would that change anything? It would hurt so much if she just told me I was never bullied and I'm sensitive or asked for it. I don't know has anyone got advise? Has anyone who was bullied been in a similar position? What would you do?

i have nothing to worry about now, but i am curious for the future. i (american, 19m) plan to move to europe, possibly to spain and visiting countries like portugal, france, and italy.

if the visiting doesn’t work out, then just living in spain. however, my fiancée (18f) will be staying in the u.s. with her family if i move.

i will be 7h ahead of her. now, she has dated someone from southeast Asia as a younger teen, but they broke up due to the fact that my fiancée would wake up when her ex had just gone to bed.

i suppose we could manage, like if she usually gets up at 9:00, it’d be 4pm for me, but idk.

So I discovered the hard and painful way that my 5 year friendship with my autistic friend (same age/gender), as a autistic person, isn't quite at the point yet where sleepovers make sense. However me and my friend live 2 hours apart on exact opposite ends of the same city. So I'm not exactly sure what our options are for hanging out in person; considering we live quite far from each other, but sleepovers are impractical and don't make sense yet.

Since both of us are autistic and young, we don't exactly have the money for restaurants or movies. Plus the city libraries close at 4:45pm on Saturdays and Sundays, meaning that when we have the weekend off, options for meeting is limited. Living 2 hours apart from each other makes meeting for a meal quite time expensive, since one of us would have a 4 hour round trip commute. Meeting in the evening means leaving at 7:25 p.m. for a 10pm bedtime, or going to bed after midnight if we were to meet til 10pm.

For me in particular, I come from a particularly very toxic family, so meeting at my home isn't exactly the best idea, and I have a desire to be less reliant on texting/voice chatting; and put greater value on face to face interaction with my friend. I only recently met with my friend's family for the first time attending his graduation, at his now-alta mater, on his behalf.

So what are good options/activites for me and my friend to hang out IRL in this situation? The two of us can't drive due to our autism. We both rely on the city public transport's bus and subway system for transportation and will need to do so for the rest of our lives. (Both of us do like trains, and we tend to prefer deep convos and share our obsessions with minecraft, weather, transportation, etc.; but we are comfortable with other activites like going walking outside together, etc.)

I (18F) have a sister (14F) who I love a lot, but I don’t know how to help her. She thinks I’m always mad at her or that I hate her.

She’s very sensitive to tone, so she assumed that if something isn’t said in the way she wants, that they want her to leave and DESPISE her.

She also tends to think if you don’t absolutely approve of her and love everything she does, that you hate her. She has tried sabotaging many friendships under the belief that they hate her and want to abandon her. She goes from thinking they’re wonderful to thinking they’re terrible people very quickly.

yes, the title is correct and not bait 👍

i (22x) have a friend/acquaintance (25m) who is friends with a 13f irl, but people are calling him a weirdo.

he has no romantic relations with this girl and knows her through her dad (40s, m) but people are still calling him a creep and idk how to help besides saying he isn’t. it’s not like he went out of his way to go “hi im looking for 13 year old girls, wanna be friends?”

i feel really bad for the girl and i hope he doesn’t have any bad feelings or intentions, but i’ve heard from him he’s done nothing but mentor her and tutor her.

(i wasn’t there idk if i can truly believe it, but still)

I have a friend (18M) who always tells me when someone is being rude. Specifically it was one dude in senior year. I have since graduated. I am no longer in high school.

It doesn’t seem to be from a place of cruelty but rather ignorance and trying to be “funny” by going “ahahaha autistic woman hahahaha!”

The school counselor, however, told him to point that out was unintentionally offensive (He is also autistic and can’t understand certain social things sometimes.)

Hey folks, hope all are well!! Need some outside perspective on a situation. Your thoughts are appreciated.

Apologies for the wall of text… added background, current state, questions at the end.

Background - I recently met someone at work (last week). They are new, I’ve been there a while. They manage projects, I work in IT. They were running a new project I was part of.

This person sounded really cool just listening to them. Meaning, funny, good personality, smart, etc. After the team meeting, I reached out to let them know I could help, if they had questions. They actually said they did.

That lead to some conversation both work and personal (surface level stuff, e.g. where do you live, how did your get into your line of work, etc.).

That lead to a few more short conversations last week. I also added them on LinkedIn.

Current State - I didn’t ask their relationship status in any conversations. They do make it seem like they are single. Based purely on how they talk about themselves.

Friday, trading messages at work. They say, “if I don’t talk to you have a great weekend”. I reply “same to you, but if you get bored feel free to say hi”.

Sunday they reach out via LinkedIn. We trade a few messages there. One one of which they send me a pic of them and their pet.

In my head I say @$!? it, I’ll give them my number. Proceed to give number. They say “going to shower, will message you when done”. They never message me… wait to see if they do on Monday. Thinking maybe they fell asleep, etc.

Monday… nothing… I was busy and didn’t reach out on LinkedIn. Plus I started thinking maybe they changed their mind about chatting. Maybe there is something else I don’t know about. Maybe cold feet about giving me their number.

Tuesday… at work, nothing from them. I reach out in the afternoon to say hi. Don’t mention anything about the weekend. Ask how their day was, etc.

Response was more personal than I expected. Meaning they called me a pet name, traded messages, were acting “cute” for better way to explain it.

Mentioned if they were free to chat, let me know. Said they “really wanted to” but were busy finishing up stuff before they go on vacation.

Say nothing else, today ends, no message outside of work as of this writing.

Question - am I being played? Meaning is this someone who may be bored, or unhappy in a relationship and me showing some interest is making them appear interested? Is there something else, some new trend I’m not aware of on the internet 🙂

Could I be walking into a trap (e.g. they’re married or significant other) and I’ll start getting threatening texts 🤨

Am I overthinking this and should let it play out more? They will be away all next week on vacation. 🤔

I’m confused Lemmy and don’t have the mental energy / prowess to handle something that’s gonna be bad mojo!! I may not be smart enough to even figure out what’s happening 🙂

my (22nb, 22ftm[?]) friend mark (20m) lived in poland since he was 4. he speaks russian, polish, and english.

his English isn’t the best sometimes, and he has foreign accent. he is in love with a woman (24f) he wants to date, but she only speaks English and his family only speaks russian and polish too. he is almost always talking to family on call the whole time in russian, and it gets awkward because she also can’t understand it.

I'm often left feeling stressed, frustrated, and exhausted by my partner.

Why?

Problem-Solving Difficulties She struggles to handle problems as they occur. For instance, when we get invited to social events, she needs a day or two to process it before she can give an answer, which can be pretty stressful for me and those who have to wait for a response. When a stressful situation arises, she absorbs the full impact and eventually breaks down. It frustrates me because there are many strategies one could use to step out or completely solve the situation. She has difficulty zooming out to see the bigger picture and connect the dots to solve important problems or prevent them from happening again. I often feel alone in this, and when I try to explain my perspective, she doesn't seem to listen or care enough to process it and improve how we handle things in the future.

Parenting Concerns: She quickly gives in to our 3-year-old's requests, especially when I'm not around. I worry this approach may lead to challenges for all of us later on, as it doesn't teach our child to cope with setbacks or understand reasonable boundaries. If I come home after running errands for a couple of hours, I sometimes discover she bent the rules and let our kid eat ice cream, only noodles for lunch, and candies?! What happened to only giving candy on special occasions, like birthdays or holidays, which we've both agreed is a good parenting strategy?

Physical Affection and Intimacy: We also struggle with physical affection due to her chronic eczema. When her condition is under control, we can be more physical, which is nice. But in truth, it’s not enough for me. I can't always spontaneously hug her because her condition can change daily, and I think her lifelong eczema has made her less touchy. While I cope well with this, I can feel touch-starved.

I hate to admit it, but I don't find her sexually interesting any longer. Her sex drive is low. When tensions rise between us, she might say, "I think sex will solve the surface tension, we should have sex soon." While she's right that being close physically is good, and I commend her for her wise idea, it's rare for her to initiate. When she does, her sexual charisma/energy is very low, which honestly turns me off. It feels like she expects me to get excited without her putting in any effort to build up the mood. I've tried to encourage her to take a more active role, but she never seems to put anything into practice or build experiences together with me.

She does not "serve herself" actively during sex. I don't think she wants to explore sex further. I have offered to go down on her, for her to go down on me, to explore our current/future kinks together, to be more rowdy about sex in general... but she never picks up or takes it further. She doesn't have any kinks. Although she acknowledges my kinks and we have become comfortable discussing them, I usually feel like a burden when I bring them up, so I have stopped. She says that massage and light touching feel better than sex, which may be true for her due to her eczema, but if that's the case, we clearly don't value sex in the same way.

Communication Issues: She often talks to me from across the apartment, assuming I can hear her perfectly. When I respond, she realizes we cannot hear each other, which stresses me out. Because now I have to "keep a tab open" to not neglect her (I have ADHD; this quickly becomes a painful act for me). I've asked her to adjust her voice so I can hear her better, but she refuses to do so and never corrects herself. Day in and day out. It's exhausting!

Her tone can come across as nagging and sharp, which feels directed at me. She insists it's just her tone and that others wouldn't react the way I do, but I disagree; I think they would react similarly.

I am curious, learning, and socializing. She doesn't really have an interest outside of work. She just wants to be comfortable. It feels like I am fluid and sudden as water, while she's rigid as a rock.

Household Management: When she tidies, she just picks stuff up from surfaces and crams it all together on shelves or in boxes/paper bags, leaving them mixed and out in the open. She never organizes. She never goes back to her mixed containers of random items to sort them out later either. She never makes places for things to be in/on. Am I the only one who sees the logic here? If there are no designated areas for things, they will be stuck in limbo?! We either put things back where they belong or throw/recycle. We don't keep things mixed together and out in ugly containers. And I am the one with diagnosed ADHD.

I am the one "who solves" things. Is an electric apparatus wonky? I am the one who has to fix it. Do we need something drilled in a wall? It has to be me. Do we need to find information about XYZ? I have to be the one deep-diving and attaining understanding.

THIS WAY OF LIVING IS EXHAUUUUUUSTING!

It has led me to want to be more comfortable and free. I now daydream about my own apartment by myself. Where she cannot bother me and I don't have to deal with seeing her handle things in ways I cannot deal with.

Now please bear in mind I haven't told you the good sides of our relationship. I have focused on what's bothering ME here. I want to hear your takes on what I've written. I am not looking to break up. But I just... don't know if I can keep living like this for decades after decades.

What would you do If you were me?

I’m aware that this is probably a thing many people struggle with, their loved ones in the military. I’m one of them.

I’m proud of my gentlemanly fiancé. After all, he’s joining the military. But that’s the thing, after he turns 18, he will be signing up. My parents are very strict and we cannot actually see each other in person unless it’s somehow not considered a “date”. I have to be 21 to actually go on dates even if I am legally considered old enough.

Even so, he will be in the military, where there will not be a lot of time to go on dates.

I will not break up with him over this like one of his exes did. I am very proud that he’s joining, but I don’t know what to do when he’s away or to cope with loss.

Whatever I do, I won’t lose feelings for him.

I posted about my friend once, Jaiden. Just for background or recap, I encountered Jaiden on a post about abusive parents. We chatted in the DMs of Reddit and became friends on Discord.

Jaiden has a lot of disabilities, including autism, C-PTSD, and ADHD. She has dealt with a lot of trauma in her life. Plus, she is a trans lesbian sheltered from the world. She is seen as a guy with transphobic and homophobic parents who are narcissistic/have NPD.

She has been traumatized in other ways that I will not name. However, despite not having resources and being very poor and sheltered, she is very ambitious. She constantly vents to me and others, so much so, that others have left her besides me, and has a whole list of things she wants to accomplish.

She wants to become very rich, talented, and good at everything. She also wants God to fear her, she said. She wants to become better than everyone else so that everyone will idolize her and become impressed.

When I question how realistic it’d be, she lashes out at me, but when I go along with it, she gets mad at me for believing in her and keeps asking me why I believe so much.

She believes she’s some sort of hero, which she might be. She has dealt with so much trauma, plus, she says she wants to become a celebrity and that her friends are celebrities or well-known.

What do you think of her information and how can I help?

She’s AMAB and possibly transfem(??)

Anyway, they’re in the eighth grade and my sister Lena’s friend is somewhat depressed.

first off, we’re both men. i’m 19, he’s 18 (carl). carl used to be very energetic, sweet, affectionate, and happy.

lately, he’s been very down, which is of course uncharacteristic of carl. whenever i ask if he’s okay, he insists he’s fine, but doesn’t want to talk about it.

everything sucks to him, his energy is very low, he usually is tired. he doesn’t really care about anything either and his personality completely changed.

for background, he gets harassed and yelled at a lot for being neurodivergent, and also

idk what the exact issue is because he doesn’t want to say. i have no clue how to help.

This lady tried to beat me up for being disabled. She gets mad, threatens me, stalks my account, and won’t stop talking abt me and how much I suck and deserve bad things.

She never talks about what I did wrong, used my full name when I don’t like it, etc. I actually hate her so much for what she did but everyone says she’s polite and kind and it sounds unlike her.

She told me to leave her alone, that I was a dog who needs a master and owner, that I can’t speak to anyone and especially not her friends, that I deserved to die and to be raped and murdered.

This one lady is considered very kind. She is to most people, that’s why they consider her this way. The lady’s friend says they’re the problem if the lady is mean to them.

I’ve been treated very badly for having learning disabilities and attention problems. Rather than talk to me and try to help me, this lady tried to beat me up, wants to hurt me, and is now ignoring me because she said she hates me and blocked me. I’m happy without her, though.

Is it possible that she can act like this and still be a good and kind person despite hating people with problems and being a bit homophobic?

Like the age requirement for most Lemmy instances (except for a few which I believe are 13+ or no age due to not being NSFW), I’m 24F. I’m married and live with my wife at her house.

My sister Lena is 9 years younger than me (2010, 14F) and currently has a boyfriend Dominic (16).

One day, my sister’s friend from school (I’m not sure who, so I’ll say Kate) had a group call with some friends and invited Lena to meet them. She saw Dominic there and decided to talk to him one-on-one. For now, they just do audio and video calls, but they both found out they apparently live in the same state (he asked: “Where are you from? I’m from [insert state here]”.)

As an adult and her older sister, I’m not her legal guardian, but seeing as we’ve seen his face and he already knows her friend, I’m fine with it.

Our dad, though, is pretty cautious. Lena says she’s tried everything she could think of, from going to the movies, to going to some other public places, to just having him outside of the house or on the sofa in the house.

Dad is concerned that since they’re both teenagers, they’re going to do sexual stuff even if both of them stay right there in his sight. Like I said, I’m not her legal guardian, but if it were me, I’d say it was fine as long as they didn’t leave my sight (or if he came over to the house, if they keep the bedroom door open or don’t go in there at all.)

I’m glad they’re calling, since the relationship will probably feel more real than just 24/7 texting, but I feel like it would be good for Lena to actually see Dominic in person and become physically close (in the non-sexual sense of hugging, hand holding, etc.)

I asked what we meant and she replied with: “no wonder you don’t know”

then I said if she wanted to be, and that if she didn’t want me to talk to her then I wouldn’t

This woman I know is friends with some of my friends. However, she is almost always passive aggressive and rude, though sometimes she’ll be polite or ask things about me to get to know me.

She asked me why I even want to talk to her and when I say anything, she says something like “Nice thinking skills”, “How did you figure that out, Sherlock?”, “Just fucking great!” “I hope you die and I never wanna see you again”.

When I’ve asked her, she says she’s fine though and nothing happened to make her this way.

30 year old male, divorced last year after 9 years. Got dumped because I drink too much apparently. She was supposed to move back to her home country but ended up staying in this city.

I'm a member of the music scene and so is she so all my friends are her friends. So naturally because I'm not the pretty one, she gets all sympathy and I'm now a lonely motherfucker rejected by a lot of people I once called friends.

She hooked up with a dude who is an actual drug addict and last night. While trying to watch the band, they're making out like 5ft behind me. I shouldnt care because these people are quite literally losers compared to me but I guess I'm jealous someone cares about her and nobody cares about me.

When I went home last night alone I actually thought about ending things. I don't really know what to do going forwards. Do I just end my hobby of music because I can't deal with my jealousy? Every gig she is there and she's got a line of guys wanting to be with her while I'm left to rot alone.

Should I sell my house and quit my job and move? That's what I was up all night pondering. I feel as if this place is too small for the both of us, and she won.

Warning: This was a rant and I have NOT proof-read it, so please ignore any poor writing, lol.

I (19M) and my girlfriend (18F) have been doing long-distance for about a year. We met in-person in school, but she had a very rough home life and had to move almost 500 miles away to live with her aunt and get away from her abusive mother while she finishes her last year of school. Since she's still in school, neither one of us have been able to make the drive/flight to see one another, and the soonest we will be able to is July. I have generally been taking the distance fairly well

I'm content with our video calls and texting

but she's been having a really rough time and has been for several months. On top of being separated from me, she's away from her immediate family and all of her longtime friends, in a completely new environment where she has to adjust to customs and meet new people, and generally struggles with some minor mental health issues. With all of these things piled up, she has become incredibly depressed and is growing more and more jealous in the relationship. We've had many a long talk about all of these topics, but the problems seem to persist. She can often be short-tempered, dry over text and call, jealous of my female friends (of which I have many), and generally a bit petty. Now, I can't blame those on her

they're products of the absolutely shit situation she's been forced into

but I'm still beginning to resent her for them, and I feel awful. I've found myself avoiding her when she wants to talk, and I sometimes struggle to to keep conversations going because I feel like I'm doing most of the work. And again, I've been upfront, so she's aware of these issues and says she's trying to fix them

which I truly believe

but it's beginning to be too much.

In addition to those push factors, there's one pull factor. This has kept me up at night because I feel so awful about it. My love language is physical touch, and no, I don't mean sex. I feel and express love largely through hugs, cuddling, holding hands, and even just sitting shoulder to shoulder. Hell, I feel great receiving a high five from people! The issue, of course, is that physical touch is kind of hard from 500 miles away, so I'm starting to feel lonely despite being completely fulfilled in every other aspect of the relationship. The part that makes my stomach do back flips is that I've noticed myself starting to seek that physicality with my female friends. I have never and will never even think about physically cheating, but I have on a few occasions sat a bit too close to people, been too touchy while laughing, let a hug go on for a bit too long, or something like that. Additionally, my best friend in the whole world is female, and I know she has feelings for me. Part of me has thought about ending things with my current girlfriend and pursuing those physical desires with this friend because, well, we're already super duper close and I know she wants it, too. But I just can't bring myself to do it. I love my girlfriend so much and I can't imagine doing relationship-y stuff with anyone else despite how bad I might want it

it juts feels gross. I know that sounds backwards

I want it but it's gross

but idk; it's just how I feel. I feel I may begin or have already begun an emotional affair and I'm absolutely disgusted at myself.

I don't want to leave because I do truly love this woman, and she was everything I needed and more before she moved, but her bad situation has made me resent her. I would just wait it out until she graduates and we can be close again and all will be good again, but she plans on starting college in-state where she is, and I'm being shipped off in August to serve 4 years in the military, so I just don't think I can wait that long with how much has built up in just one year. Additionally, because she's struggling with her mental health, I fear my leaving won't be good for her physical safety because she's mentioned desires to harm herself already (though, she hasn't actually done it). I helped her out a lot with her issues with her abusive mom (I was actually the one that got her out and moved her away in the first place), so I know I mean a whole whole lot to her. She says I'm the only one close to her that's treated her with care respect. I do truly believe things will go back to normal if we can close the distance, and I do truly want a future with her, but I just don't think I'll be able to wait the time required for that.

What on earth do I do?

For some background, one of my other friends, I’ll call her Penny (19F) was dealing with her dad with NPD. I looked for some advice on a subreddit called r/raisedbynarcissists. That’s when I believe what happened is that I asked something about narcissistic parents, and Jaiden (24F) shared her story in the comments. I felt really bad for her and decided to help her out and talk to her.

She then asked me if we could talk in the Reddit DMs. I said yes and she then asked me if I have Discord. We now talk on Discord and I was shadowbanned on Reddit for some reason. (Anyway, I use Lemmy now, which has a much better community besides certain jerks and trolls which you’ll find on any somewhat large platform).

Since this was a while ago, we’ve talked a lot since then and she’s dealt with a lot. For starters, she’s Asian and lives in a very traditional Filipino community with Chinese heritage. Her entire family is not only traditional, but abusive, narcissistic, and neo-Nazis who support eugenics and Hitler. [I find it odd that Filipinos of Chinese descent would be this way but people are very strange.]

While stuck in her parents’ house being BEATEN, she can’t do much about her situation. While stuck in the house, she is incredibly motivated and wants to do all these things. Not only does she have a very long list of things, but she wants to become famous and good at EVERYTHING all at once, surpass her friends (who are either extremely talented or celebrities) and be the greatest person ever.

She always asks me if I think she’ll be the greatest person in the world, so I say yes. I don’t want to discourage her. Plus, I can’t predict the future. She may well become the greatest in the world. I know she’ll become very depressed and angry if I say no, and it’s simply rude.

I don’t know what to do or how to help besides comfort her. I don’t know how she can achieve her goal of becoming the greatest ever either.

Today, I was talking to this girl N (who even punched me once!) and she constantly complained about having no friends.

I told her that this one girl, R, seemed very happy to have her as a friend. N said “I can’t be seen with someone like her.”

Then, with someone named J. “He’s a (n-word). I don’t like his kind.”

She rejected someone being her friend and said “I’m too cool to be seen with that (r-word).”

Eventually, I just told her that was the reason why she had no friends. She got pissed that I DARE to say such a thing.

at around 16ftm, i had a group of online friends i interacted with. i also showed a lot of signs of bipolar and still do.

my one friend ryan (17m) told me to shut the fuck up, stop complaining, “just get help already” (i had therapy) and said people with mental illness were just burdens.

ryan also seemed hypocritical to me because he would say things like that but would also CONSTANTLY talk about how depressed he was and that life is just suffering, etc.

he then told me his behavior towards me was because he takes the “tough love” approach. he also proceeded to ghost me and made excuses for his behavior because of his depression, which he also said was tough love.

furthermore, i had a few online friends (19m, 23m, 30m?)

19m was just a friend of my friend (who also happens to be my ex, at the time 17m)

23m had common interests like games and tv shows with me

30m was someone i occasionally talked to, neurodivergent and didn’t have many friends nor knew how to make any. i was the only person he talked to and i would draw for him due to him not having time to do it himself.

ryan and his friends told me i was being sa’d, in fact, severely so, but i was too naive and liked them too much to realize and that it was their job as friends to protect me.

this gave me an extreme breakdown as they repeatedly shamed me for who i interacted with, didn’t really care about what i had to say sometimes, and accused random people of being sa’d when i have actually BEEN sa’d in the past.

i told them i don’t need them to take care of me as i could control who i talked to and if any of them tried anything like that, i’d block them.