drbollocks

joined 1 week ago
MODERATOR OF
 

i don’t mean this to say that people with mental health conditions are all abusive, nor do i take your comments as a diagnosis, i’m more or less just curious. after all, only a professional could help the specific person.

i have been emotionally abused by someone. they can never accept their own faults or mistakes. telling them they made a mistake will set them off and cause outbursts of anger. they strictly adhere to rules and try to control people to follow a rigid set of them.

will often prey on weaknesses to make you stay with them because “no one understands you, just me”. discards you but comes back after a while and the cycle repeats.

often makes others feel bad about themselves, that they are the best/only good person and they should be the reliable one to come to when something’s wrong. in their eyes, you are worthless no matter what you do to change it.

 

for example, when i go to lemmy.world, i see downvotes, but here, there are none. i find that pretty cool :)

i want to be able to post genuine things without being downvoted to hell, even though they shouldn’t matter to me in the end.

 

i have a lot going on besides that. just broke up with a guy, realized i wasn’t even into guys (but it stung more that he didn’t pay attention to me/care regardless), then having some rocky relationships with my gf (open relationship) and long-time friend, the latter i’m cutting contact with. (meaning i will only talk to her if i have to or if she talks to me first)

with all of this, my anxiety’s acting up and i’m a bit (still although it got better) on edge.

[–] drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

we are poly, kinda. the agreement is that we have to know the person and/or know about them before we can date them or it’s considered cheating.

for example, she has a gf. i know of the gf: i know she has one and i’ve talked to her before, so this is alright. she has spoken to my ex a little when i dated him (before i figured out i wasn’t into guys) and knows he dated me.

[–] drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

i have, she says she’s sorry but then continues

[–] drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

she hardly ever talks to me anymore. usually she’s too busy to hang out with me, doesn’t invite me to play with her, and doesn’t seem interested when i wanna play a game or “forgets”. thank you so much, though 🫂

i try to be interested in her hobbies but she doesn’t pick up the conversation or “doesn’t see” my messages, and she doesn’t try to be interested in mine in return, usually I either get a “that’s nice”, she laughs at it, or is like “oh! that’s not…” or even just “… ok”

i should also say lately shes had romantic messages about guys but “can’t tell me” who she’s talking about. at first I thought she was referring to me. flirtatiously I asked, “who are you referring to 🤭” and her response was “i can’t tell you…”

she also seemed rather guilty and avoidant. i also found out she was referring to some guy and talking about how she wanted him to get her pregnant??

 

she’s just not a very active person online. when she is, shes only active in group chats with her friends.

usually, she talks about video games, and is actually offline because she plays video games almost all the time.

is there any way to salvage the relationship? she’s too focused on her interests to be interested in mine, and like I said, is almost always playing games so we barely talk aside from: “hi ❤️” “Hi sweetie ❤️” “hru??” “Good, just playing games, you?” “good :)) im listening to music” and then the conversation ends because she doesn’t message first and is busy with the other stuff.

(i have tried talking to her and she says she’s usually busy. shes either genuinely busy, busy with games, or in a bad mood and doesn’t feel like talking [sad/tired])

i know bilingual people who DON’T read english

update: now this user is a grown woman who has a girlfriend 🎉

if no one sees this, try an advice community or an lgbt one (bisexual, lgbtq+, etc). like i said but i think u deleted it, he may not treat u like his other friends because he doesn’t view you as a friend ?

he seems to like u but idk if it’s platonic or not

hmm… is it possible he flirts with all his friends but doesn’t flirt with you because he doesn’t view you as a friend ?

just speculation, he seems to like you, but it might be in a different way than a friendship way from all i see in this post

 

I created !Crushes@lemmy.blahaj.zone for the people who have crushes

 

!crushes@lemmy.blahaj.zone

anyone who’s attracted to someone can post here :)

I’ve seen adults with crushes so…

[–] drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 week ago

“achew~ 🇬🇧 ☕️”

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