Some personal examples that come to mind are:

• Being late for work because I heard the people in the apartment next to me leave and I waited five minutes so I wouldn't have to share the elevator

• Cleaning my house for two hours before strategically placing items I can talk about just so I can have a friend of multiple years over and after they left replaying things I said to make sure I didn't say anything embarrassing

• Not being able to look my Tinder date in the eyes even though we've been talking for a month and we had planned to have relations that evening

• Spending $200 on a sweater at a craft market because I worked up the courage to ask the price and couldn't bring myself to say no thanks

• Forgetting something I needed at a store and just leaving because I didn't want to face the cashier

They're all things that are silly in hindsight that I later realised the average person likely wouldn't have done. I know no one would have really cared in these situations.

Just curious what stories people have.

Anyone knows this sentence? I had a lot of people saying that when I was younger. I also knew alcohol would do magic to my anxiety.

By now I've learned that it doesn't need alcohol to have people actually liking you.

I mean. I'm still anxiety-me. But surrounding myself with people who like me.

And right now to feels useless to write this, like it doesn't have a point. Excuse me..

I hope your day is going well, and aren't too stressed 🤗.. ideally not stressed at all, but that would be a dream.

I haven't seen posts in this group in a hot minute and thought I'd add a small contribution to it.

Source: https://introvertdoodles.com/comic/how-anxious-are-you/

Marzi is ace and has some books available on Amazon!

This is the third draft of this post, as well.

I guess I might belong, eheh.

Heyyy, I am so sorry for missing two full weeks, and barely beeing online. Tl;dr: had a bad depressive episode. Yet i still managed to read all new posts and comments in the meantime. i apprechiate all you people very much, even when socialising can be impossible. Love to you all!

I recently started using breathing exercises for the first time in a few years when I'm feeling anxious, and they've been helping a lot. I hadn't quite realized how big of a difference actually going by time could make as opposed to just generally trying to slow my breathing - if you've never tried it I'd highly recommend it.

I'm having trouble finding the pattern(s) that work best, though. It seems to vary so much; one day one will feel claustrophobically slow and another day it's anxiety-inducingly fast, kinda defeating the purpose. But I don't want to abandon timing it altogether when my gut is apparently pretty bad at figuring out what is the right pace.

Maybe I'm just overthinking this, but I'd love to hear your opinions and experiences. Also, do you use any other physical strategies, like belly breathing?

Hello everyone, my first post here. First of all, I don't have a job, I've never worked (I'm 20 years old), and I have no idea how to go about getting my first job. What would you recommend? Do you have any tips on how to conduct myself in a job interview? Any advice on how to feel less anxious?

Hey sorry for the delay. i had no acces to a computer, and the app doesnt give me the ability to pin posts. Have a nice week!

that's all

All joking aside, I highly recommend participating in a social anxiety group, whether it's a support group or a therapy group. Attending group in and of itself is therapeutic regardless of participation.

All joking aside - what are you saying "No" to because of social anxiety?

I don't really use social media at all. I do have accounts on instagram and Facebook but only use them to occasionally post my art but never any personal posts, while most of the people i know are borderline addicted to sharing every moment of their life online.

But I've been thinking lately that maybe i should be doing more of that. I think it would be easier to talk to people online and then I'd be more comfortable talking to them face to face.

But on the other hand.. I feel a bit weird to start posting personal posts suddenly when everyone knows me as someone who doesn't really do that. I generally have a hard time doing something out of what people expect from me.

This is a bit of a ramble. Anyone have a similar experience/thought process? How do you make friends??

i know this sounds paradox and maybe some will not understand this (yet), but i want to shine a light on some positive side effects of this primarily negative topic.

for me, i feel like social anxiety has made me more empathetic towards my fellow humans. i work as a service worker in sales, and many of my coworkers don't care about the customers and are mostly just annoyed at them. i try to show understanding since i never know what someone is going through and how hard this shopping trip is for them. i have the motto that i want to give people around me more space, and more time to do whatever. however much time they might need. because i know i sometimes need this, and i am very happy when i can see someone who apprechiates it when i don’t pressure them to buy something. i think we all can practice a little more empathy. i imagine without experiencing social anxiety myself i would have less acceptance of other peoples struggles whatever kind that might be.

Hello you beautiful people. I want to start this little experiment where i will pin a megathread each week for talking about your week, share small victories, or discuss your goals for the next week. There are no topic rules to this, any kind of small talk is welcome. :) I figured since some of us might lack a space to share about their daily life, maybe we can use such a place here.

I need help. I'm completely socially isolated and inept. I have been for the majority of my life. I'm in my late 20s now and I've never had a friend, or any kind of relationship. I feel I'm too depressed to begin extraciting myself from this deep chasm I've drifted into now. I work as much as I can, never turning down a shift, but if I'm not at work I sleep or lay on the floor at home, crippled. No energy or motivation to do anything, even eat. Work is my only chance to socialise. I'm grateful my coworkers are nice to me, and they're the only good thing in my life. I'm far more attached to them than they are to me. They're not friends. They just put up with me.

I can't do this anymore. I've sold all my possessions of any value, and I'm ready to go. I've already attempted suicide and ended up in the psych ward before. I don't know how to form relationships. I'm too fucked up. I want friends, but what do friends do? How do you know if someone's your friend? I've been isolated for so long I don't know how to be with others. I'm past the physical symptoms of social anxiety. I used to shake, sweat profusely, stammer, feel like my clothes were choking me, etc., but now I'm just numb all the time. My mind still goes blank when I attempt to converse though.

I'm miserable and repulsive. I know that. No one wants to be around people like me, but I can't fix this alone. I don't know how to fix this. I'm too ashamed. I can't face people.

What are your go-to safety behaviors? Have you tried challenging yourself to reduce them? What happened if you did?

If I have to communicate in written form, there is no to very little anxiety. But if I were to make the same arguments in person, it may not go so well....

I am mostly looking for healthy ways to cope with stressful situations. what do you do when the panic kicks?

It's really important to understand this cycle. Every time you decide to avoid a social situation, your anxiety lessens, which feels great in the short run. But in the long term, avoidance only leads to more anxiety because you don't get chances to practice skills and to discover that the reality is often less scary than your imagination.

The best way to reduce social anxiety is to practice socializing intentionally. You can set measurable and realistic goals, like "I will spend 3 minutes making small talk with the barista" or "I will compliment my coworkers twice weekly" or "I will stay at the party for an hour and talk to 2 different people, asking at least 3 questions each time."

Find a small way to start exposing yourself to social situations, even if it's just getting out of the house and going for a walk in the park among other people. The more you avoid, the worse it gets - even though it will feel great initially when you avoid.