Whiteness isn't simply the physical trait of having pale skin, in the way being tall is a physical trait. An entire social scaffolding has been built around the physical quality of pale skin, that denotes the absence of race, the presence of "normalcy", "purity", "superiority", and therefore a place at the top of a racial hierarchy.

But at the same time, whiteness is like the fucking Borg. In the US especially, the concept of whiteness assimilated a ton of different ethnic groups, robbed them of their language and culture, and left gringos like me with no culture to speak of, beyond getting run over by a Ford F250, while on your way to get a Big Mac.

And there's no real way to recover that cultural identity. Like, ok, I have Irish ancestry, but what does that really mean at this point? No one in my family has spoken Gaelic for generations and St Patrick's Day is just a reason for white people to get hammered. And in many ways, that's a horrendous tragedy, and a deep psychic wound in the minds of the settler population on this continent. There's a reason Americans love Genealogy. It's because they have no actual connection to the land they live on, so they scrape for some past, that the whiteness and colonialism which they benefit from, has also robbed from them.

That said, though I'm white, I'm also bi and trans. My queerness ties me to a history and a culture that's much more tangible then what your average straight, mayo, American has. So while I personally like to joke that "my ethnicity is removed", It's incredibly difficult to "not be white" in that socio-cultural sense. Because whiteness is so all consuming. There's no individual way to "stop being white", the only way forward is to abolish whiteness as a category.

Edit: Mods are erasing my ethnicity! I will not be silenced! /s