this post was submitted on 11 May 2024
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parenting

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20 months old child and tantrums (lemmygrad.ml)
submitted 1 year ago by ksynwa@lemmygrad.ml to c/parenting@hexbear.net
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I am looking for information and anecdotes about children that are about 20 months old and their tendency to throw tantrums.

My nephew has started to become belligerent when it comes to throwing tantrums. For example, he gets a hold of something that we would not like him to hold, then refuse to give it back. Usually we would try to distract him with some other attractive object and sneak the former object while he is not looking. If we even try to gently wrest the object from his grasp, he starts crying really badly. Like really badly. It is a bit terrifying.

Part of me thinks that this behaviour is learnt. He must have noticed this strategy working for him in the past so he has begun to do it more.

On the other hand, children do be throwing tantrums. I also don't want to baselessly entertain the notion of stricter parenting. As a cold, heartless individual I try to be skeptical of approaches like this to counterbalance my biases.

Thoughts and experiences?

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[–] the_itsb@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

I wonder if there are sensory or stimming issues here. What kind of objects are you taking from him? Is there any sort of commonality to the kind of object - like, even texture or temperature or weight - or the time of day that this happens? Patterns of attachment to these things related to hunger or fatigue?

just spitballing

mine was a puzzle too, and the stage you're talking about was 15 years ago for us, but even though I didn't remember all the particulars, I remember it being very difficult! Grasp of language happened very soon afterwards, though, and it made everything So Much Better. You're very close to the light at the end of the tunnel. ❤️ Once they can communicate their needs to you, everything gets a million times easier.