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this post was submitted on 24 May 2024
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No Stupid Questions
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I'm not a doctor, and certainly not your doctor. But agree with the comment about anxiety - if the Xanax helps, you are treating anxiety that's keeping you awake, right?
Have you tried running? Or some other tiring physical activity? I'm wound pretty tight and without physical exercise, preferably to the point of exhaustion, it's very difficult for my brain to let go. But with physical exhaustion from physical activity comes mental relaxation.
You know the Xanax helps, are there other times you've had good sleep? Do you know what the conditions were that let you fall and stay asleep?
Also one of my kids got relief by taking Adderall, as counterintuitive as that sounds, helping the ADD helped her sleep even though she was taking literal speed. So please go to a doctor who can evaluate you for anything that might be going on in your mind, you might have room for more improvement than you think. And really - exercise.
I have an unusual amount of fucked up shit that’s happened in my life and enough demons pulling on me to end the story. I have some months off soon so I’m going to focus on health and wellness hopefully. I started hiking at sunrise, which was great for a few months. I have the bad habit of reverting.
I am also not a doctor, but I just want to point out that xans can knock you out regardless of anxiety. I absolutely do not have anxiety, but I go straight to sleep if I recreationally take xans. Snorting some roxy’s and passing out doesn’t mean you’ve treated underlying pain you didn’t know you had either, you’re just taking something that’s a sedative and becoming sedated.
Correlation vs causation and all that.
I cannot believe I forgot yin yoga. Yin yoga knocks me out better than drugs. Do it in the bed. Lots of forward folds calms your nerves, tricks your brain into feeling safe. You can look them up online, and do them all with pillows stuffed in the spaces where you can't reach (like if you are bending over your legs put a pillow between your belly and legs) don't use effort. Hold each pose a long time - 4-6 minutes.
Seconding the recommendation for Nidra too, but Yin I find works better to lull my brain into sleep in an acute situation. Nidra is more like trippy, relaxing and between awake and asleep, healing in the long term.
One thing I read that stayed with me was "vigilance is the enemy of sleep". Since you are so stressed with work, probably your mind stays on alert. It's counterproductive but normal, it's like it thinks it's your turn to watch for threats all night long. The yin yoga fights that feeling very well.