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this post was submitted on 30 May 2024
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With the best will in the world, I think you're still conflating the symptom with the disease.
Gender-policing is abusive, and abused people often behave in problematic and indeed shitty ways. While of course there are no excuses for shitty behaviour, it's also incredibly shit to turn around and frame that behaviour in terms of the criteria by which they were picked out for abuse in the first place.
For intance (to get into properly uncomfortable territory), it's fair to say that systemic racism drives poverty and disadvantage, which in turn can drive all kinds of antisocial behaviour and societal problems. But imagine for one second some sociologist coming up with the concept of 'toxic Africanity' (or equivalent) to describe it. They would get fucking dragged, and rightly so.
It's not about being 'probably one of the good ones'. It's about looking at a bunch horrible maladaptive coping strategies, and asking what the hell it is we're expecting people to cope with, and why we put up with that.