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calling out from work tips for someone bad at lying
(hexbear.net)
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You are doing good, you're talking care of a very important person, yourself! Your boss doesn't have that interest in mind, so you're going over his head to your top boss - again, yourself.
Don't forget, no pics on social media.
And go with the doodoo ass excuse, bonus points for calling while dropping the kids off at the pool. Eat a lot of the day before so you can get some sound effects going.