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Dating/Hangout Anxieties?
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2024
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If I can offer an alternate perspective..
By making such concrete plans you may be ceding too much "control" to someone who you don't yet know will have the same reliance on solid planning or respect for other's time as you do.
So, if that's the case, what can you do about it?
Plan differently.
Plan a one hour "date with yourself" that also works for you + a date.
Example: Make a plan to meet at a coffee shop or cheap bistro near a park... but bring a book/kindle/podcast/homework, or whatever you'd otherwise do on your own.
If they show, cool, you now have topics to discuss. If things are going well, continue over a walk in the park.
If they flake, cool, you've now got a solid hour to do something you enjoy, in a (hopefully) interesting place, and you've done it for cheap... Maybe take yourself on a walk in the park. :)
Hope that helps a bit.
This is some legit solid advice.
I love it.
I always have something I'm working on or doing so bringing a book or a laptop should keep me pretty occupied.
Agree.
Setting your own expectations so that you’re never disappointed also helps.
Anticipate meeting up, so that if it happens, you’re excited. At the same time, anticipate that they may not show up so don’t expect that they will.
Love the other person but love yourself first. Yes, it’s cheesy and cliché but there’s a reason for that: it works incredibly well in your favour since there’s no way to lose.
People fail to show up for a variety of reasons. They may have suffered an accident. Their phone might have died and they don’t know how to get to the meet up without it, and have no way of letting you know. They may be stressed and could have forgotten, even if they were really looking forward to it.
And the kicker, they might be even more anxious than yourself and don’t know how to deal with that.