this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] CodexArcanum@lemmy.world 127 points 10 months ago (6 children)

I should get to work on my opus, "Dirty Code"

Inside I'll reveal all my secrets like: not writing tests, not documenting anything, putting the whole app into a single python file, object-disoriented relational mapping, obscure SQL tricks, unobscure no-sql tricks, and more!

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 58 points 10 months ago (1 children)

object-disoriented

I'll steal this to shit talk about code; until git blame points to my past self

[–] Tlaloc_Temporal@lemmy.ca 4 points 10 months ago

Github, but it's afraid of commitment, it just wants to spoon.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 33 points 10 months ago

Just make sure the first chapter is dedicated to spaghetti, and contains various GOTO statements telling where the reader where to go shove it and other obscenities.

[–] pfm@scribe.disroot.org 7 points 10 months ago

I hope your book won't have a table of context and those stupid indexes. If they read it, they should know where you mention topics, right? Tables of contents considered harmful! /s

[–] mesamunefire@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

I like "how to build APIs you won't hate".

[–] Tja@programming.dev 4 points 10 months ago

I hope the tricks are only supported on kafka's ksql.

[–] MonkeMischief@lemmy.today 3 points 10 months ago

I read a book like this once! It was like, "how to code badly."

It was actually kinda fun.