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How do I alleviate bitterness due to lack of intimacy?
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this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2024
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I used to be very skinny, like 58 kgs at 186. I met my wife when I was 18 and she loves skinny dudes ๐
Regardless, I did feel self conscious about my skininess because I was bullied for it in school. I've both accepted myself, but I also gained about 15kg of muscle by doing starting strength. I'm by no means ripped, but I do feel like I carry myself with more confidence and that goes a long way.
Also, my dude, take this from someone in a 20 year relationship... Looks are neat and all, but finding someone you can actually stand, spend a lot of time and plan a life with is a significantly more worthwhile trait to pursue.
Same, I hate muscles and fat on guys. Although that's difficult to admit openly since a guy saying he is into heroine chic would be a social outcast, so why should it be acceptable if a woman says so. I like skinny guys and my husband is skinny af. I am by no means unattractive either.
My question to OP is - you seem to get rejected because of your looks, yet these beautiful women (by your standards) went out with you in the first place if I read that correctly. So there must have been some attraction in the beginning. At the very least they talked to you. But something along the line happened that made them not want to commit to you.
In general, we find people attractive because we like them. We don't like them because we find them attractive.
It can very well happen that when you meet someone in your everyday life and get to know them and then happen to fall in love, they absolutely don't fall into your "scheme" or "type".