I can't see any way out except third world maoism, and that's a longshot

Socialist politics must necessarily adapt to the material conditions of where they are practiced. MTW was effective in pre-Revolutionary China, but we don't just copy/paste what happened previously, even if it was effective.

Don't take that as a direct denouncement of MTW, of course. It is important to study the successes and failures of our comrades of the past and learn from them. Understanding that most of the socialist successes have happened in largely agrarian countries certainly allows for some bleakness to residents of the imperial core. The wheels of history turn on, and the fight for a better future has barely even begun.

I think some of that was because my leftism was mostly online. I did what i could in person but had limited options.

It's super important to take this all offline. Get is as offline as possible, even.

This can be very difficult for many who are truly stuck in some really bleak political territory. I've lived on the US west coast my whole life, so it 's unfortunately (for my message) not some thing I'm familiar with. I hope that anyone in your situation finds the means and motivation to move to somewhere they can at least have some tenuous organization, even if it's with tha succ-dems (way better than nothing). I know many have moved to the US west coast from other parts of the country for the politics (I wish we could offer them better than bland liberalism, but I digress...). It's not to be taken lightly, but especially if you are young, it should be a serious consideration. Every US west coast city has an active DSA, at minimum.

But to be honest what can I do other than mutual aid? Americans are too stupid to ever see past capitalism, there's no local governance I can affect, and anything else is just adventurism.

Where are you at with education? That answer has a lot to do with what options you'll have available (whatever it may be).