Exactly. I'm from a pretty small-town area, at least back then it was. We hardly had any diversity in school, and how are you supposed to really understand different things with no exposure?

As I started working different jobs, I've met people of numerous cultures and races, those who have been homeless, people who have been subject to different kinds of abuses, rich people who are nice, rich people who are jerks, and people that have all sorts of beliefs and justifications for them. I don't think most of us are born into that type of situation, and it's possibly not in a young child's interest to have that kind of understanding thrust on them too early, so we need to have realistic expectations for people to figure things our.

There also shouldn't be a deadline for it. I was always happy to hear one of my grandparents form a progressive opinions, even after 60-80 years. It's never too late to make the world better or to be kinder to your fellow people. Some people never get there, so we should always be proud when they do. At some point, they're more on our side than not, and gatekeeping isn't going to speed it up.

I had an amazing 2 year relationship with a woman in a very conservative family. We were early 20s back then and we were damn near perfect for each other. I ended up having to break it off for reasons akin to what you mentioned. She was not allowed her own car, couldn't choose her own job, was not allowed to move out unless it was to someone she married. We couldn't sit on the same couch in her parents house and she had a 9pm curfew. Again, this is in her 20s.

Although she did not hold those values as rigidly, her family would've disowned her for doing anything outside their wants, and family was her everything. Because we couldn't progress the relationship without jumping straight to marriage it just had to end. Really unfortunate TBH and I hope she's gotten out of it to some degree. People shouldn't have to live in such a way, being so controlled like that.