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Dating Standards (lemmy.world)
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[-] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 190 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I'm a man and I'd never date a Republican either.

A person's politics are a reflection of their values: if they're willing to identify themselves as someone who validates all that fascist shit, then I want nothing to do with them.

It's crazy to me that this take is even remotely controversial.

[-] anon6789@lemmy.world 49 points 2 weeks ago

I was raised with Republican beliefs, but got off that train during the 2nd GWB admin. The times were there were any middle ground to find between mixed political couples is long gone. When the only topics anyone spends time debating are morality, religion, and discrimination, what middle ground can exist? Facts don't weigh into debates for Republicans anymore. They have chosen feelings in the face of data. They choose to knowingly follow ignorance. It becomes a zero-sum game, where they either wear you down into going along with them, or they get ignored and cut off.

Being open to others' opinions, experiences, and education helped me to see a different world view, but it didn't seem so frowned upon back then. But now the desire to get rid of the Board of Education, promote a purposefully biased curriculum, and treated the educated as an enemy, I don't know how people are supposed to get shown a different truth than what they have been indoctrinated into.

[-] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 42 points 2 weeks ago

People act like me not getting off the raised republican train until my early 20s is really slow but that's when as a female child they allowed me to leave the house regularly for things other than school or church.

[-] anon6789@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago

Exactly. I'm from a pretty small-town area, at least back then it was. We hardly had any diversity in school, and how are you supposed to really understand different things with no exposure?

As I started working different jobs, I've met people of numerous cultures and races, those who have been homeless, people who have been subject to different kinds of abuses, rich people who are nice, rich people who are jerks, and people that have all sorts of beliefs and justifications for them. I don't think most of us are born into that type of situation, and it's possibly not in a young child's interest to have that kind of understanding thrust on them too early, so we need to have realistic expectations for people to figure things our.

There also shouldn't be a deadline for it. I was always happy to hear one of my grandparents form a progressive opinions, even after 60-80 years. It's never too late to make the world better or to be kinder to your fellow people. Some people never get there, so we should always be proud when they do. At some point, they're more on our side than not, and gatekeeping isn't going to speed it up.

[-] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago

I had an amazing 2 year relationship with a woman in a very conservative family. We were early 20s back then and we were damn near perfect for each other. I ended up having to break it off for reasons akin to what you mentioned. She was not allowed her own car, couldn't choose her own job, was not allowed to move out unless it was to someone she married. We couldn't sit on the same couch in her parents house and she had a 9pm curfew. Again, this is in her 20s.

Although she did not hold those values as rigidly, her family would've disowned her for doing anything outside their wants, and family was her everything. Because we couldn't progress the relationship without jumping straight to marriage it just had to end. Really unfortunate TBH and I hope she's gotten out of it to some degree. People shouldn't have to live in such a way, being so controlled like that.

[-] ripcord@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

They debate morality? I thought they'd abandoned morals afte integrity stopped being a thing.

[-] anon6789@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago

They do have principles, however oddly flexible they may be.

My family and the gf's are probably 90% conservative. They know I'm not, and to an extent they treat me differently. But I don't think they'd wish anything bad on me as they might a stranger.

You see this in the face eating leopard articles where they're always like "I never wanted them deported, they're one of the good ones.". Once they get to know someone, they see they're really not so different at the core and that they're good honest people like they see themselves.

I really think it's just some bad wiring in the empathy part of the brain. Most of these people still have a chance to learn better views on the issues. Some may truly be hateful misanthropes, but I feel that is a very small minority.

It's easy to hate conservatives right now, and I won't say anyone is wrong to be angry. The only non-violent way we preserve rights though is by getting people to understand strangers and develop that empathy.

Most of us probably know a number of hard to love people right now, but it's taken time to make them ignorant and hateful, so we can give up on them or we can put time into undoing what has been done to them. I can't tell anyone what is right for them, but it's something we all need to bear in mind.

[-] maniclucky@lemmy.world 35 points 2 weeks ago

It's only controversial for those who are being called out on being terrible people on a moral level.

[-] winterayars@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 weeks ago

Republican men tend to expect (demand) all women be open and willing to date them, also to become ultra submissive to them and warp their entire lives around whatever the dude desires. It's fucked up but it's a real problem if you're a woman. (Non-Republican men and even women can also have similar expectations, but there's a reason "Would you date a Republican man?" is a meme.)

[-] rational_lib@lemmy.world 92 points 2 weeks ago

I used to be open to dating Republican women, Then I actually dated one. Now I'm no longer open to dating Republican women.

[-] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 2 weeks ago

in my head they're like, very naive no?

[-] rational_lib@lemmy.world 30 points 2 weeks ago

Yes but that's not the biggest problem. Selfishness is the biggest problem as far as relationships are concerned. Every Republican I've ever known has this attitude that their view of things, which is invariably biased in their interests, is the only possible correct one and that anyone who disagrees is both extremely dumb and morally inferior. With friends this is not the biggest problem because you don't have to share stuff with them. In a relationship though, it becomes really problematic fast.

[-] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 weeks ago

you don't share stuff with friends? I couldn't be friends with selfish people either

[-] NeoToasty@kbin.melroy.org 52 points 2 weeks ago

Hell, I wouldn't even befriend someone who voted Republican. Any friend, close or not, that has voted Republican got a kick out of my circle.

[-] iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works 27 points 2 weeks ago

Honestly, it's not the "vote republican" part for me, it's who they actually voted for. There's plenty of conservatives I can have a civil conversation with. If you voted for Trump though, I don't want anything to do with you. Got nothing to say.

[-] OceanSoap@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 weeks ago

You most likely have a few friends who voted Republican and you just don't know it.

[-] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago
[-] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

The majority of white women voted for Trump, tho

[-] isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de 22 points 2 weeks ago

the majority of those who voted, not to mention most of them are well in their 50s and probably already married

[-] raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

And they are racist shitbags

[-] Goodmorningsunshine@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

Your point? The garbage is welcome to other garbage. As a white woman, I would never date, fuck, or marry a Republican.

[-] TurtleOnASkateboard@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 weeks ago

I had sex with someone last night who very likely voted for Kamala Harris

[-] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Scared of their hubby probably

[-] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

Or drinking from the same well of propaganda.

The idea that men can be duped by a wall of Murdoch press but women can't seems dubious.

[-] winterayars@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 weeks ago

Presumably the one asking is the Republican... Ditch her.

[-] troglodytis@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

Sorry about the fucking idiots, and thanks for not fucking the idiots.

[-] jet@hackertalks.com 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
[-] palordrolap@fedia.io 6 points 2 weeks ago

If he'd weep at all, it wouldn't be because a woman says she wouldn't be interested in him because of his politics – it'd be because of what's become of his politics.

[-] AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Ehhhhhhh, Lincoln was totally willing to keep slavery to end the civil war. The Confederates fucked up by refusing to negotiate. So he freed the southern slaves and ordered the South burned to the ground instead, ending the war by destroy their economy. He wasn't the abolitionist hero American history portrays him as.

[-] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Lincoln was totally willing to keep slavery to end the civil war.

The thing about Lincoln wasn't that he was willing to keep slavery to end the war. Virtually everyone was willing to do that.

Lincoln was willing to end slavery to end the war. This was the truly revolutionary view and the reason he's so celebrated.

So he freed the southern slaves and ordered the South burned to the ground instead

I don't think you get to rampage all the way into Gettysburg, looting and burning and raping and massacring your way straight through the heart of the Midwest, and then discover moralism during Sherman's March.

He wasn’t the abolitionist hero American history portrays him as.

He literally was, though. He wielded abolition, first as a weapon to bleed the Confederacy dry and then as a sucture to knit a new nation out of the 13th-15th amendments.

He achieved policy the most radical abolitionists hadn't even dreamed of ten years prior. An absolute living legend.

If only he'd made Butler his VP or... idk... ducked.

[-] AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee 0 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Don't mistake me for defending the Confederacy. I can't disagree that they deserved what they got. War is hell and they started it. My real point is that if they had been more subtle Lincoln would absolutely have let them keep slavery. A lesson the modern South seems to understand well if the last few decades of the Republican party are any example.

[-] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

My real point is that if they had been more subtle Lincoln would absolutely have let them keep slavery.

Lincoln wouldn't have enjoyed the majorities necessary to rewrite the Constitution without the Civil War. He'd have been in the same position as Quincy Adams or Filmore, two outspoken abolitionists who lacked the tools to functionally end the practice.

The war, the voluntary dissolution of opposition in Congress, and the massive depopulation that neutered immediate blowback left the door wide open for revolutionary change. And Lincoln - unlike his successor Johnson or even more distant successor Truman - walked through that doorway. That's what makes Lincoln significant - he was presented with a serious opportunity to affect change and he took it, when less lucky presidents never had the opportunity and less moral presidents never had the conviction.

A lesson the modern South seems to understand well if the last few decades of the Republican party are any example.

What makes guys like Trump and Bush Jr so horrifying is the fact that they did pounce on their opportunities to affect radical change. The Republican Party is seizing their moment and reinventing the country while the Dems dither, trying to extract as much personal profit from the decaying system.

The modern South is a consequence of bold Republicans capitalizing on a wellspring of white nationalism that's been bubbling up since the Civil Rights Era, while Democrats seek to apologize for FDR/Kennedy/LBJ and sell off a generation of progressive reform to the highest bidder. When you look at the Dem strategy in states like Texas and Florida, you see this in spades. Candidates falling over themselves to prove they hate student protesters and brown foreigners and union advocates as much as any Republican.

The lesson we're all learning is that you might as well try to reign in hell, cause heaven is a lost cause.

[-] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago

i only date propublicans.

[-] _cryptagion@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

Would I save a drowning republican, if I had the ability to snap my fingers and plop them on dry land?

Gonna be the long answer.

this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2024
1103 points (95.4% liked)

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