this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2024
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lol that's not too far from reasoning
Main reasons for the sudden sobriety is
I'm not getting what I want out of it and I feel dependent on it for bullshit reasons
Vanity
Bank account
yeah I kept running into the I'm not really having very much fun, I'm just sort of trashed for the hell of it wall a lot recently
If I was having fun I doubt I'd even have really given this the attempt lol
I'm sitting here trying to word mine
It's like I can only feel positive about something (or someone honestly) when striving for it. When I get "the thing" my mind warps it into something negative, because if i have something it cannot possibly be good.
Booze allowed me some peace with this, but that has faded.
I fear there is none but to find a way to accept your own nature and mitigate the worst impulses that stem from it.
it's a fucking nightmare lmao
Appreciate the commiseration, legitimately