this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2024
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[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 63 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

What Trump really wants is Greenland. The foolish Danes refused to sell it to him fairly but as the lord of Canada he would be able to field an army on Hans Island and use that as a bridgehead for an invasion.

Why does he lust for Greenland? It is quite simple, Trump want to restore American as a manufacturing superpower but he knows that America is far behind China and needs a boost to get ahead. Who is even better at producing stuff than China? Santa Claus. By controlling Greenland and Santa's workshop, America will gain access to advanced elf technology and use it to usher in a new American century.

[–] jaywalker@hexbear.net 37 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The war on Christmas was an inside job all along

[–] huf@hexbear.net 26 points 2 months ago

... CIA sponsored elves fighting pentagon funded elves in greenland