There's also a lot of self-delusion, or lying to oneself. I suppose for some people it's necessary to cope with their disabilities. I've seen deaf people say they wouldn't accept hearing for all the money in the world, and that they're not disabled, but rather differently abled. As someone who has gradually lost their hearing I'll tell you that being hard of hearing is absolutely a disability in many ways, not just for communication. It seriously negatively impacts a person's life. Having fewer senses than everyone else doesn't make me differently abled, it makes me disabled, and I would give a whole lot to have normal hearing again.

I have read that people who learn ASL as their native language have a hard time writing English. Maybe this is a artifact of that?

In my experience that used to be far more the case, but it's been changing since the 00s. Growing acceptance of the impacts of mainstreaming and the ways in which the hard of hearing have been hurt by anti deafness has created a situation in which we're increasingly accepted by the deaf even when our sign is absolute dogshit.

If I were to reproduce I would've broken the tradition of mainstreaming my family had and I would've committed to ensuring my children were native signers as well as speakers. That attitude is increasingly common among us HoH folks and it's part of our contribution to mending the divide, an acceptance of the value of Deaf culture and community.