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I apparently got shadow banned almost a year ago from blahaj, for a comment I made on lemmy.world
(lemmy.sdf.org)
For the record I was posting in support of inclusive language, but pointing out that context and convention matter.
They seem to have even scrubbed my comment from their instance, lol.
It's male-leaning, although it gets used androgynously.
If someone personally didn't want to be called dude, I'd avoid it. Otherwise it's not worth freaking out over.