this post was submitted on 16 Jan 2025
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Suggestion/discussion: Should we add "incel" to the no-no word list? (hexbear.net)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by REgon@hexbear.net to c/hexbear@hexbear.net
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I don't know, but this comment from @Hermes@hexbear.net has given me some stuff to think about.

People should not think less of you on the base of the amount of sex you have, and you shouldn't either.

This is a nice thought, but insults based on amount of sex are absurdly common. I have seen quite a few people on this site who still do these insults, and it doesn't get removed when I report it. The incel article from a while go was about how we should critique incels for their misogyny rather than them failing to have sex, I see this as pretty similar to the arguments about not body-shaming fascists in that most of the people who will get hit by the insult are not the actual target. From what I remember, that article good job explaining why these insults are harmful and how they hurt a lot of people who they really shouldn't, unfortunately the discussion on that post was very off topic. In my experience, most people who have sex fail to recognize that not everyone who is celibate is an incel ("If so many terrible people have sex and you can't, that must mean you are worse than they are!").

I would say that insults based on amount of sex a person has should not be allowed, but I am very pessimistic about this actually leading to a change in site culture.

Once again, please assume good faith, even if you disagree with the take. If you think I mean something weirdly reactionairy by this post, ask me wether that is what I mean, instead of just saying that's what I mean please.
I don't want this to become a strugglesession, I just feel like this would be a good discussion to have. If this does become hostile, then please lock/remove it mods.

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[โ€“] someone@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's my concern as well. There are many modern scientific, engineering, and technical terms that use older slurs in whole or in part, yet in their modern context are not at all slurs.

I'm wondering if there could be some sort of "soft" word filter. Instead of instantly replacing certain words, perhaps there could be an "auto-report" to mods about certain words. They could then make their own decision on whether the word was appropriate in the context of the discussion on which it was used.

[โ€“] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago

It's not like it's absolute, a word doesn't have to be automatically filtered for it not to be allowed here. "Bitch" isn't filtered, but comments using it in a misogynistic way are still removed. It's pretty easy to determine whether a comment has an ableist insult or the word "asteroid" in it.