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‘I don’t date at all now’: one woman’s journey into the darkest corners of the manosphere (www.theguardian.com)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works to c/world@lemmy.world

287 comments fedilink hide all child comments

To this day, she remembers the racing thoughts, the instant nausea, the hairs prickling up on her legs, the sweaty palms. She had shared a photograph of herself in her underwear with a boy she trusted and, very soon, it had been sent around the school and across her small home town, Aberystwyth, Wales. She became a local celebrity for all the wrong reasons. Younger kids would approach her laughing and ask for a hug. Members of the men’s football team saw it – and one showed someone who knew Davies’s nan, so that’s how her family found out.

Her book, No One Wants to See Your D*ck, takes a deep dive into the negatives. It covers Davies’s experiences in the digital world – that includes cyberflashing such as all those unsolicited dick pics – as well as the widespread use of her images on pornography sites, escort services, dating apps, sex chats (“Ready for Rape? Role play now!” with her picture alongside it). However, the book also shines a light on the dark online men’s spaces, what they’re saying, the “games” they’re playing. “I wanted to show the reality of what men are doing,” says Davies. “People will say: ‘It’s not all men’ and no, it isn’t, but it also isn’t a small number of weirdos on the dark web in their mum’s basements. These are forums with millions of members on mainstream sites such as Reddit, Discord and 4chan. These are men writing about their wives, their mums, their mate’s daughter, exchanging images, sharing women’s names, socials and contact details, and no one – not one man – is calling them out. They’re patting each other on the back.”

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[–] Modern_medicine_isnt@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I was thinking high school locker room when I read it. Cause it fit my experience there.

[–] Echofox@lemmy.ca 1 points 5 hours ago

I got beat and blooded multiple times in highschool locker rooms. I'd estimate a lot higher than 30% of people are the issue.

[–] metaldream@sopuli.xyz 3 points 11 hours ago

I played hockey in high school and that was my experience too. Insanely toxic attitudes towards women. Yet we elevate these assholes because at least in the US we still value athletics in men more than anything else.

[–] sudneo@lemm.ee 1 points 15 hours ago

Oh, I guess different school systems, so that didn't even come to mind to me. At least in my country high school is from 15 to 19, I think lots of people thankfully mature and change after teenage years.