this post was submitted on 28 May 2025
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askchapo

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How do you stand up to bullies? All kinds of bullies? Especially starting from beginner 10-15 year old levels? I'm too afraid of being roasted and haven't practiced. (hexbear.net)
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by HexaSnoot@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
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Also, what are your favorite comebacks to bullies?

I need to stop trying to change unchangeable people. I've been through so many bad faith people who dehumanize at every turn whenever they feel they won't get consequences. I need to make there be consequences for dehumanization.

Someone said to me "What if there's a predatory creep that you don't know how to socially shut down, and they feel emboldened because you don't roast them?" I said that's happened. They said i need to practice in lower risk scenarios. Maybe I get roasted for calling someone an asshole. One day that can turn into me and the dehumanizer going 50/50, me and them both getting half the roast. But to even get there I have to start by being roasted by bullies.

I won't get anywhere if I don't start clapping back and getting roasted many times by many assholes.

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[–] HexaSnoot@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I know someone whose good at both, giving withering roasts and grey rocking. They confronted my bullies. One avoided the confrontation by hiding in another room with the door closed. The other was smarmy and denied ever doing what they did to me. My friend is pretty impenetrable when it comes to gradeschool-level bullying. This was all done when we confronted them completely peacefully. He understands the quote, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I think the beginning of me understanding that quote is to learn how to speak up for myself. And that involves taking risks.

I understand there are abusers with personality disorders, but I've seen my friend shut down even those people. There are people who are simply immature abusers without personality disorders, and I mostly want to start standing up to them. Either way, when someone is incapable of taking accountability for their wrongs, I want to show they shouldn't try to step on me to begin with. People avoid mistreating my friend and I want that treatment by being just as witty as him.