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Why and in what capacity are you expected to interact with middle/high school students in this way?
Edit: Like for real, are you asking this as a middle/high school student yourself? Because if not then there’s no reason you should “roasting” anybody. And even if you are then whoever gave you that advice originally sounds like a literal child.
I wasn't very clear and edited the title. I probably haven't interacted with actual public school students for years now. I just mean 10-20 year old levels because I never started socializing in environments where I'm allowed to talk back until the past few years, and i need to start somewhere. I don't talk to middle to highschool aged kids. A lot of adults act that young and dehumanize me in the style of lame kids.
Lame isn’t a very kind word to use in this context, but I understand what you mean.
Damarcusart gave you some solid advice. Personally I do not think “gray rocking” is a good idea. I’ve seen kids and adults get beaten up for not responding to bullies. I like what they said about not being an easy target or being a dangerous target. I think the latter offers more protection for yourself though. Bullies and assholes of all kinds respond to one thing most of all, social pressure. If you are able to put a group of people around you who agree that this roasting thing is nonsense, you’ll be safe. If you isolate yourself then you make yourself an easy target. Make friends with people who are kind to you and make you feel safe.
Lame isn’t a very kind word to use in this context, but I understand what you mean.
Why is it not kind? Is Lame an offensive word in any way?
Majority of the time when im bullied, I haven't been with friends or even strangers. I typically get covertly abused when bullies find themselves alone with me. I want to discourage immature behavior and not allow them to try to get me to absorb their own sense of shame for them. A little roasting is good I think when it comes to covert abusers. Usually there's no mortal danger, just shame slinging. In such cases, I want to hand the shame back into the hands it belongs it. Nothing further.
Lame can be read as an ableist term. Pretty simple.
I want to hand the shame back into the hands it belongs it.
As others have said, there’s nothing you say back to them that’s going to make a bully feel ashamed of themselves. They’ll change their behavior if they realize bullying is socially detrimental to themselves. If you’re alone with this person(s) don’t play along with the roasting. Keep your conversations about work or whatever. If they come at you with some bullshit, give them the ‘ol “Sure buddy” and move on.
But probably most importantly is to talk about them to other people. Tell others you think it’s weird and childish what they’re doing. Ingratiate yourself with their friends. Ask, “Why is this person doing that? What’s wrong with them?” You’re not taking the moral high ground here, you’re using social pressure to tell your bully to fuck right the hell off.
Oh okay. Not lame then. More specifically pathetically mean treatment by underdeveloped downpunchers.
I'm not sure what to think of the rest of what you said. I'll digest it more later.
Yeah I get you. I was homeschooled for most of my life after I beat the breaks off some racist and homophic bully in kindergarten.
Gray rock can work, just be completely numb to everything they say, don't react at all, ignore them even, no matter how in your face they get. They're looking for a reaction. Especially if they're with their buddies, no matter how good of a "comeback" you give them, by even playing their game, you've already lost.
The other option is breaking noses, but as Nakoichi said, it has mixed results.
Don't try to be a martyr and act like a sponge for the bullies' attention, in order to "save others." It won't change a thing, the bullies will still bully others and you will end up with severe psychological trauma the rest of your life.
The point in any case is to show them that you aren't a worthwhile target to bully. It's an unfortunate fact about our schooling system in the west that bullies can thrive and receive no comeuppance. The administration isn't your friend in this matter. They'll do whatever they can to make it "not their problem" rather than actually solving the problem. All you can do is either be too boring or too dangerous to bully. There has never been a situation in the real world where giving the "perfect comeback" shuts the bully up. That only happens in movies because it is cathartic and what people wish would happen. It never will, all you can do is make sure they don't bully you.
I’ve seen people, kids and adults, get beat up for not responding to a bully before. It’s generally good advice, but I’d gray rock at your own risk.
That's why I said "breaking noses" as an alternative. Grey rock should be the default reaction, but it needs to be backed up with violence unfortunately.
Breaking noses worked for me but like I said that was the 80s
I know someone whose good at both, giving withering roasts and grey rocking. They confronted my bullies. One avoided the confrontation by hiding in another room with the door closed. The other was smarmy and denied ever doing what they did to me. My friend is pretty impenetrable when it comes to gradeschool-level bullying. This was all done when we confronted them completely peacefully. He understands the quote, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I think the beginning of me understanding that quote is to learn how to speak up for myself. And that involves taking risks.
I understand there are abusers with personality disorders, but I've seen my friend shut down even those people. There are people who are simply immature abusers without personality disorders, and I mostly want to start standing up to them. Either way, when someone is incapable of taking accountability for their wrongs, I want to show they shouldn't try to step on me to begin with. People avoid mistreating my friend and I want that treatment by being just as witty as him.
The main way to stand up against bullies is to make friends to the point where your posse outnumbers the bullies. Unless the bullies have personal beef against you, they'll usually pick another target instead of trying to take on an entire group of people at once.
Well I can tell you how I dealt with them but breaking someone's nose in school has mixed results.
Zero-tolerance policies and their consequences
Yeah shit was a little more wild west in the 80s and 90s
It really depends on context. The best defense against bullies is to just have other people who will have your back.
But what is the bullying?
My strategies have been:
Make tough friends. Burn eachother constantly. Be tough. Take classes on fighting. Build your confidence. Be funny if you can.
Bullies aren’t all the insecure assholes tv makes them out to be. Some people are just dicks and you have to be able to defend yourself mentally and physically. And sometimes you’ll lose. That’s okay though, because every time you lose it just makes you tougher and you can learn from your mistakes.
Very funny that everyone is just picturing this thread as you wanting to fight a middle school bully.
Lol I used to know people who actually act like the characters and so the chaos of the show stung for a while. But in the past year I finally learned to love it because my brain can register it's just a show.
That sounds the problem is the people in your life and not your lack of roasting skills.
Well I grew up in that kind of enviroment, but now that I'm out of it im encountering other immature covert abusers. Who might not straight up have a personality disorders and who are simply immature downpunchers. They'll wait until I'm alone with them to strike. Now i have these windows of being bullied where I came start defending myself and not face mortal fear. Idk where to start.
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
I'm imagining that early Peep Show bit where Mark gets bullied by a group of children. https://youtu.be/FytN0o1V-gQ
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
You tell them their breath stinks, that shit works every time
This is situational and depends on the person you're beefing with, but the funniest roast I ever heard in school was a kid saying another dude had a "head like third-form Frieza"
Kramer is dominating the dojo
wtf
Literally trying to kick them in the nuts works. You might get your ass beat, but they'll also see you as too much trouble to mess with later. It's not fun, but in my experience you have to literally fight them. It doesn't matter if you win or lose.
Depending on the situation just roast back. You can also just call someone out for being a dickhead in a crowd.
Just say "Why do you have to be such a dick?" and don't back down, if they keep going, just keep asking the question. If you do that in a crowd, you'll get them to either acknowledge them being a dick or back down.
If the bullying is isolated, start with leaving and trying to get to a crowd so you can pull off step one, or just leaving. If that's not an option and they're being aggressive, pop them with a sucker punch or a kick to the genitals then ask them again.
If you're able to get them to bite on the "Why are you being a dick" approach, just maintain a jovial demeanor and laugh at their responses until they stop. You having that attitude puts them on the backfoot in a social setting because people naturally side with the more calm/laughing person.
Basically turn their bullying into a weakness and take the high road.
Idk what to roast back. I have thoughts amd judgements, but I might take months before I cam put into words what I would've like to responded.
"Why do you have to be such a dick?"
That would make them feel proud. They like it about themselves.
As with many things. There are many answers but one? Know the right people. I was never super popular at school but I did know and hang with some of the popular kids cause I took part in theater plays and I also was good at sports. Highschool politics are bullshit but if you can play them its pretty easy not to be at the bottom of the food chain.
"Highschool politics are bullshit but if you can play them its pretty easy not to be at the bottom of the food chain."
I'm no longer in highschool (see edited title) but yes that can be true.
Is there anything wrong with telling them they're assholes, why they're assholes, and vividly describing gruesome ways you think they should die until they get uncomfortable and leave them alone?
Yes on the gruesome part, they would do a smear campaign pretending that I'm their bully.
One of them loved to cut peoples lifelines and doom them to threat of literal death. They had a job they said they loved. In it they enjoyed firing people in the most crushing ways they could think of speaking. I would ask them "how was work?" and they call every single person they talked to at work "stupid" "fucking stupid" or "stupid as fuck." It was at a work place they hated being abused at before they got promoted to the position of firing people. Then they loved how abusive the workplace was. They were the boss's favorite pet. I have no idea if the world is literally better off without this agressive lifeline cutter. If it is, I won't be the one to tell them.
The other person that they bullied me with acts like this person's vistigeal organ, copying dehumanizing behaviors as if it hurting me protects them from being targeted themselves.
I think i just need to just comment on their immaturity or roast them in a very simple way that discourages them.
My favorite go-to is "your family tree must be a straight line"
There are victims of incest so generally nah, but it is a funny way to make fun of eugenicists.
imagining this