this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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No such thing. Ask away!

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How are you supposed to help the victim while simultaneously avoid being falsely accused of being the perpetrator?

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[–] Nougat@fedia.io 10 points 1 day ago

Fine. Since I'm apparently "rude," I'll elaborate.

Your wife goes missing. As the spouse, you are the prime suspect. The police are far less interested in finding your wife than they are in arresting the person they think is responsible for your wife's being missing. They are going to interrogate you, in one of those tiny rooms with no windows where they put themselves between you and the door, and get more and more inside your personal space. For hours, and they're going to treat you as though you are guilty, because they want you to confess to a crime. They want you to incriminate yourself.

You're already super stressed about your wife being missing, maybe you're wondering where your kids are and the stress they're under. Do you have a dead solid alibi? Are you sure? The police are allowed to lie to you; you are not allowed to lie to them. Are you certain you won't even misspeak? Because what you consider a mistake, they will consider a lie, and that makes you even more a suspect. Are there any other uncomfortable facts in your life? Affairs, money trouble, arguments, drugs? Is anyone undocumented? All that shit is about to come out, all that shit will be used against you.

Are you mentally capable of navigating this situation, where there's a real chance of your being imprisoned for who knows how long? No, you are not.

Unless you want to load more trouble on top of the trouble that's already there, you will not speak to the police without your lawyer present.