it's not on everyone to teach, but i wither a bit every time somebody is like "i dont have time to educate you" or otherwise abdicates the sponsibility, to favor whining and being shitty. like, somehow one is expected to take in a position on one's own volition, when life seriously almost never works like that - which is to say, life isn't just creating people who are curious and seeking understanding outside of the lane society violently etched into their brains, and if you can teach something better, you do your own ideals a disservice if you refuse to in favor of feeling angry without being productive about the problem

certain positions must be exhausting to explain. I'm not witholding empathy for that. But the work is the work. If you want society to look the way you want and expect, you better be willing to teach

[–] woodenghost@hexbear.net 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It's weird reading that without context. It's rarely the case, that people sit at home, randomly have an idea about what society should look like and then stubbornly refuse to tell anyone about it. Rather, when people say "it's not my responsibility or duty to educate you" it's usually, because you just were racist or dehumanized queer people or something similar. People who are victims of this shit educate and argue with people all day all their lives, not because they passively would like to see one of their random ideas put into practice, but because it's necessary for their survival. But all this is tiring, even traumatizing. They can't do it every single time someone is being an asshole again. There are just too many assholes. So when they encounter the one too many assholes of the day, that's in my experience the usual time when people in real life sometimes say: "Please educate yourself. Just because I'm queer (or black or muslim or etc.) doesn't mean I'm your unpaid tutor on how to have basic human empathy." And that's valid.

[–] RiotDoll@hexbear.net 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

i am a trans woman, i do understand this and have to make decisions about what i have the energy and ability re: safety and mental health to get into with people all the time

i have, and i guess i should make this clear, also seen people just abdicate when they didn't have to. I have the information necessary to say that - and i've seen it more than once, and it's frustrating because this doesn't get better if the average dumbass doesn't understand

apologies, maybe you've seen this sentiment weaponized, but that's not what this is.

[–] woodenghost@hexbear.net 2 points 1 day ago

Yes of course, I understand. I didn't mean to direct this all at you personally. I hope what I wrote just gives some context.

maybe you've seen this sentiment weaponized, but that's not what this is

Yes, I have, but no need to apologize!

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I do teach, they don't listen. I have tried explaining my dysphoria and other issues so many times already and they don't give a fuck what I have to say. Not that we shouldn't explain but so many times it's useless.

[–] RiotDoll@hexbear.net 6 points 2 days ago

i definitely feel that. i do my best to put the work in, but the idealism of my early transition is gone. i am way more skeptical it'll be affected. but i feel obliged to educate who and when i can