this post was submitted on 16 May 2026
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So I used to have an issue like this about the expression "bless you" when people sneeze. I'm solidly in the atheist camp, and the entire history of the phrase is nonsense anyway.
But I finally realized it doesn't matter. People started saying it because of the plague, but it's still courteous to say something when someone sneezes. It doesn't matter if you say, "bless you" "salud" "gesundheit" etc, just that you say something.
It's polite, that's it. I'm not forsaking my beliefs and converting to Christianity by saying "bless you" whether it bothers me slightly or not.
I dont say anything when people sneeze. I see that as etiquette as opposed to manners. Manners make sense where etiquette is pure social convention.
Saying please and thank you is manners cause it's an acknowledgement of the humanity of someone you are asking something of and these little gestures like saying 'how's it going?' As a greeting that acknowledges that you and the person you are speaking to are human and they need to be loved just lice everybody else does.
Etiquette is not being allowed to have your elbows on the table or needing to acknowledge when someone sneezes. I can understand someone being upset at someone for never using please and thank you. I had a roommate that didnt get the difference between asking and telling and that makes you seem like an asshole. I dont think anyone is gonna mind not being blessed after sneezing and if someone did, I would find it unreasonable.
I get what you're saying in general, but I do think there are some social niceties that are just a pointless ritual most likely invented by French Nobility. I dont think asking someone casually how their day is going and expecting a response measured to how well you know each other is bad, that falls under manners. Shit like not being allowed to wear a hat indoors and things along those lines, most of which evolved from intentional class signifiers are silly and bad.
my entire contention is that the polite convention is bad actually.