this post was submitted on 21 May 2026
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Autism
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I do a similar thing with mowing the lawn. I pull the lawnmower out and sit down to have a cigarette. Eventually I'll get annoyed enough at seeing the lawnmower that I'll just do the work.
I have this feature where my brain blocks out the presence of the lawn mower. Now it's just a part of how a lawn looks like.
This took so much time for my wife to understand. “But you see $THING everyday!”, “Yes, and that's why I don't see it anymore”. She probably still doesn't understand-understand, but she kind of knows.
Yeah, that's why it's so annoying when people say "leave a note somewhere!" or "make a list!"
Like, those notes and lists would quickly just become part of the background noise. And then they say "You're just making excuses! You didn't even try it!"
I mean, do you really think I'm just pulling this out of my ass as if I've never tried that before? Like I'm just too stupid to think of that myself, and no one has ever suggested it before, and your advice is the first time I'm ever hearing of this "leave a note" trick? No, I've fucking tried everything and learned from experience what works and what doesn't, and that's why I'm so resigned to my fate now.
Or do I really need to try again every time someone new says "Just use a post-it note!", and act like I'm trying it for the first time to "keep an open mind."
Same thing with all that other BS neurotypical advice, like "Just go to the gym"/"Start a healthy routine"/"Find a hobby"/"Just go out and talk to people and make more friends."
Like, mf stop! I've tried it all. It doesn't work. Even if you think it works for "normal people," guess what? I'm not "normal people!"
And then they say "You seem pretty normal to me."
Like yeah, just go ahead and invalidate my entire life experience of dealing with an invisible and incurable disability, because YOU can't see at a glance what a personal living hell it can be. All that tells me is that I've done an effective job at masking so as not to make the NTs uncomfortable, when really all it does is make it harder to find reasonable accomodations when I really need them.
Yup, my massage chair agrees that it's a table.