Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

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He took it literally (files.catbox.moe)

submitted 6 months ago by cm0002@lemmy.world to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 32 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

People try and talk their way out of it and dig a deeper hole. For example, what I imagined happening with that Briton arrested for carrying a garden trowel:

"But that tool is sharp, right?"

"A bit"

"If someone attacked you, would you stab them with it?"

"Probably"

"You've just admitted to carrying an offensive weapon. Accept this caution or we'll escalate this further"

[–] lka1988@sh.itjust.works 16 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

My first thought would be to just act stupid in that specific situation and straight up lie out of my ass:

"But that tool is sharp, right?"

"Nope"

"If someone attacked you, would you stab them with it?"

"Why are you trying to put words in my mouth?"

Of course, this also has a high likelihood of backfiring. So just stfu with cops.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 7 points 6 months ago

This is why solicitors typically recommend you say "no comment"

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 5 points 6 months ago

“If someone attacked you, would you stab them with it?”

I feel like my automatic response to that would be "that's a really weird question to ask"

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

I would start panicking as soon as they ask me to write down my name.