Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

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Anon mishears a coworker (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 4 days ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] Thteven@lemmy.world 27 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Human butthole wrinkles are unique, like a fingerprint.

[–] radix@lemmy.world 32 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Squat on the inkpad, perp.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 10 points 3 days ago

This is how I unlock my phone.

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

When the small intestine has to be temporarily removed during surgery, surgeons use a tool similar to a coat rack to hang it. Afterwards, they just shove it back into the gut and let it wriggle itself back into shape.

[–] dethedrus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 days ago

The precursor to a colonic map biometric unlock.