(This is a pattern that has been going on for a lonnnng time so I don't think I can write it off as early dementia.)
Basically, my mother wants me to come visit her more, talk to her on the phone more, but she disagrees with every single thing I say. If I'm passionate about something, I'm wrong. If I found a new great band, they're bad. If I like a book, that genre sucks. If I dye my hair, that colour looks too dark, but if I dye it back, it was better before. So naturally, I have started to share less and less. Then she gets snarky at me for not sharing anything. But when I do, it's wrong. Apparently, if I enjoy a singer that SHE HERSELF likes, I'm wrong about that too. And if I dare to ask a rude question like "what did you do this weekend?" she'll snap at me that she's sick, so not a damn thing of course. How dare I.
Why does she nag me through voice messages and texts to come visit, if she dislikes everything about me and every word that comes out of my mouth?!
I feel bad, because she's physically very frail and limited and could have anywhere between 6 months and 2 years left. But since every interaction with her gets toxic, I want to have as few of them as possible.
Has anyone been in a similar situation and how did you cope?
So after I broke contact for about 5+ years, my mother and me sat down with a social therapist to actually talk. It helped. I'm still not inclined to get closer, but at least I have her number unblocked. I hope you can keep your boundaries