this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2026
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I remember in the 80s when I was 5 years old, I'd spout off all these crazy ideas, and say how one day we'd get these things.
My parents disregarded everything I said as rubbish.
Today most of what I said is just common shit that doesn't even seem futuristic. You'd think I'd be happy to be validated.
But it's a monkeys claw situation.
I said that one day you'd be able to get McDonalds delivered to your door. Wish granted. It cost 4x the normal cost, comes to you an hour later, usually cold and soggy, and theres no way to know that your driver wasn't snacking on your fries. Monkey paw curl.
I said that you could watch tv on the go. Wherever you are. Now, at the time, it's possible that portable TVs existed. I was 5. They didn't exist in my world. I knew nothing of them. So from my perspective, they didn't exist. Now you can watch your favorite tv shows, or news, or sports, or movies, or whatever. Live or pretaped. Anywhere. But you need 5 different services, each costing a shitload, and each constantly raising prices. Monkey paw curls.
I also said you would be able to answer your front door from anywhere in the house using video screens and cameras. I was envisioning those security cameras you see when you walk into walmart. When you see yourself on camera. I was imagining that, but on your porch, and a TV/camera in every room with a button to answer the door. Well thats real. The video quality is way better than I imagined. And you can actually answer from anywhere in the world. But also these cameras are linked together, spy on people, and contribute the death of privacy through a police state network of corruption. Monkey paw curls.
Which makes me genuinely terrified for one of the only ones that hasn't come through yet.
I imagined a paralell dimension with an exact 1:1 clone copy of everybody in our world. Except there's a massive wall that runs the line of the equator. And every single clone person is shackled to that wall naked. And I could visit anytime I wanted, and torture people until they agreed to be my friend. But they'd have to stay chained there, because otherwise they'd leave me, like everyone else.
I was a weird kid. But how do you monkey paw THAT ONE???
You're the clone chained to the wall, monkey paw curls
Both of you are Gods among men. The rest of us are not worthy.
The technology isn’t the problem, the companies are. All the things you listed are issues, but they are all also solved if you look slightly harder.
There are free video services that you can watch from anywhere, not to mention self-hosted VOD for all your definitely-legitimately-acquired media.
You can get video doorbells that aren’t from Ring or Google and link them to fully private systems like Home Assistant.
… okay there’s no solution for McDonald’s prices if you want McD’s, but - at least here in the UK - delivery bags are sealed so you can in fact tell if someone has eaten your fries.
Anyway, my point is you shouldn’t feel bad for imagining a cool future. We do get to live in that future, but we also have to be judicious about who we trust to deliver it.