this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2026
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I’ve never been big on exercise. My hobbies are mostly fiber crafts and music, neither of which are particularly strenuous. Plus, I suspect I have undiagnosed asthma, and I finally have a test scheduled in two weeks to find out.

I’m in my 40s and really want to get a handle on my health and my weight, hence the asthma test, and becoming more active and especially adding some weight training is a necessary part of that. But I’m not really fond of gyms. I don’t love working with trainers either, because the ones I’ve tried in the past have pushed too hard and I just shut down; I don’t respond well to that.

But I’m wondering if a women-focused gym is worth trying? Something like a Curves; I know there are others. Please share your thoughts!

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[–] ZDL@lazysoci.al 4 points 6 days ago

A trainer that is not testosterone-poisoned (or mimicking the testosterone-poisoned) is worth their weight in gold. I was fortunate enough to have such a trainer (former student of mine) and he was lovely, working with me on my goals and desired outcomes instead of screaming at me to "motivate" me. I suspect you'd get more such trainers at a women-focused gym, since it seems to be a mostly masculine trait for people to want to be screamed at incoherently as motivation.

But…

One such gym that I tried had only perfunctory weights, mostly machines, and a whole lot of cardio; I was hell-bent on lifting and strength training, so it was not a good match for me. The only cardio I can tolerate is cycling. (The real thing, not those stationary bikes.) I go to the gym to use equipment I can't use at home (like 90kg of weights for squats and dead lifts) to boost my strength and muscular health. Cardio I don't need a gym for. You should probably scope out the gym and make sure that it has the equipment and space you need for your priorities.