this post was submitted on 10 Jun 2026
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me_irl
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Yup. Survivor bias, just like when people say modern online dating sucks, one of the contributing factors is it's rotating the same shitty people through the pool, because the good ones have already matched or left in frustration and gone permanently.
or they are just stuck dating the same crappy people over and over and don't win the lottery, so to speak.
what strikes me about people i meet from online dating is they all have the same sob story on every first date. it's like they are reading off a script. and if you try to take them off-script they get angry with you. it's been years since i met someone who seemed like a genuine human being.
and what's wild is these folks are often radically different jobs, backgrounds, etc. but they have the same 'my life is sad and i need a boyfriend to make me not sad' routine, despite how objectively amazing their life is.
also people have changed. social skills have atrophied, extremist thinking and echo chamber has massively increased, and folks are way more antagonistic over differences of political, preference, and activity. I used to meet folks who where not the same as me and we got along or even dated, now folks basically want you to be a carbon copy of them and dismiss you over what TV shows you watch, because it seems they just want endless validation of own choices, rather than trying to learn or try something different. I guess I blame social media? but I'm comparing dating in 2010s to 2020s mostly. and there was a huge shift post pandemic, even outside of dating, in how people socialize.
that's not to say some of these folks are probably perfectly good partners for someone, but the specificity of their preferences is certainly not doing them any favors. I don't recall my dates in 2015 demanding I be interested in love island or taylor swift whatever was popular back then... now they almost certainly do and they add an insult on top of it.
All the good ones are taken