this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2026
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I bet if you asked ChatGPT to re-write the Apple ToS as a politically illiterate socialist critiquing liberals youโd end up with very similar text.
Yeah I think the format is wrong too though. Like, its just too much for a copy pasta. I think a gif would be better, they go to click the TOS and the text just starts scrolling past like movie credits.
Maybe with some version of this wojack towards the end reacting to Chuck Schumer chanting "We will win" as the liberals cuckold themselves to fascists.
Make sure to add a leftist standing around uselessly as the world descends into fascism.
Maybe they can say something about Bernie.
Oh that could be good. Maybe a version like this for the Democrat?
But maybe one with more of an "Abundist"/3rd way look, maybe a try and get one a little closer to Ezra Klein. Like, they've gotta really give off that Pete Buttegieg/ smoothgroined consultant vibe
Iโm like four beers deep and only understood half of what you said there.
Well have another beer because since I'm gonna cut out of work a half hour early and hit the gym.
Maybe think about how we might be able to fit this one (or a version of it, probably replace them with socialist versus liberal, but keep the concept)
Or this one..
And of course, you know, obviously the liberal will need to be the soyjack.
Overall presentation I was thinking something like this, but with the TOS scrolling past instead of dollars flying
THe fediverse need more OC and if we can hit the right beats I think we've got the core of something here.
With my job Iโve never felt the need to go to the gym.
Yeah in my youth that was the case, but with great responsibility comes high anxiety and many zoom calls.
I usually can get away with just yardwork surfing, biking and hiking, but its just more time effecient to go to the gym and knock it out.
Iโm far past my youth but life in Alaska is heavy.
Splitting wood is basically the easiest thing I do.