I am coming into this with sincerity because it is something I truly believe in. As a disclaimer, this is to cover people who, get angry because of being poked or already mentally disturbed. I am not including people who're angry through other means such as alcoholic rages, that's a different thing on its own.
And I know people are so going to probably bring up mental issues to contrast and compare. Please, this is not for that. This is not up for debate.
The reason I believe people who have anger issues are disrespected the most is because, I've been in their shoes. Plenty of times. It's a very awfully lonely and jarring world to be in when you're one of these types. It always feels like the world is constantly kicking you while you're down, it's not a great feeling to live with all of the time. The world is kicking at you and you feel unheard.
The online world treats people with anger issues like they're side show entertainment. Like "oh ho! he's angry! quick everyone, lets see how angrier he can get and he can't do shit because we're miles away from him and we're all behind keyboards! huhuhuhuhuhuh!". Friends and Family feel alienated around you, feel like they gotta walk on eggshells all of the time when it comes to engaging with you.
Therapists, Doctors, Psychologists just want to drug you up because they feel you're a lost cause. Society doesn't take you seriously, because they like to make things your fault all of the time. How many situations can you recall where you got angry because someone was knowingly instigating something with you and did everything in their power to make things hell for you? It happens in school a lot. It happens at work a fair deal.
And if you retaliate, there's this weird sensation society has where, even if you are in the right to react the way you did (violence aside), then they just see you as a wild animal that needs to be kicked to the side and away from everyone. It is very fucking weird and it is a real thing.
People act all so surprised when the buttons are pushed too much and then we reach dangerous levels that do involve violence. I'm sorry but I sympathize a lot with people who end up having to resort to violence when all options to handle things as civilly and peacefully as possible has been thoroughly exhausted and when nobody is listening to them at all. Mainly because, it is a situation that never should have gotten to, if people did fucking listen and cared.
So great, the individual who reacted angrily is now demonized, probably will get tossed in jail for however long and god forbid they realize they're in a world of shit, that they go off themselves when given the chance.
The moral of the matter is, the next time you're dealing with an angry person, you have to stop and think a little about what world they could be in, that could make them angry at all. You'll never know, if they're someone, who's been fucked with a lot, who feel unheard, who is disrespected and somebody who isn't actually even trying to turn lives upside down on purpose.
You'll be truly amazed at times, how an angry person can change a tune when you go the opposite direction of what they expect, than just adding fuel to the fire and making them the fault of everything.
There is a big difference between being angry and acting on that anger.
There are a lot of people who are just as angry as what you are describing, but don't act on it and don't take it out on those around them.
The anger is not the issue, its the lack of self control.
You don't have the right to make the people around you miserable, just because you are angry.
When people are walking on eggshells around you, it is because they are scared, because you have hurt them before, and they don't want to be hurt again.
I was also thinking this while reading the post. Lack of self-control is generally disrespected and with good reason, but when that's paired with anger issues, you get a recipe for a person who hurts and scares those around them. Speaking from experience, I'll add that about 90% of of the conflicts I've had with high-tenper loved ones, the anger comes from feeling a need to defend themselves from attacks that truly didn't exist in my intent. I'm sure some people are assholes who like to trigger folks, but anger is tough because those that are in a blind rage are, well, blind and rarely can be reasoned with.
As someone else said, it's good to get therapy, learn to recognize anger before it takes over, and control yourself for the sake of your relationships and yourselves.
Your post isn't wrong, but I feel there is one thing I should point out. People with who deal with anger issues are constantly using self control to not burst out in anger. But since they deal with anger way more often then others, they have more outbursts. So it's not always a lack of self control, it's just reaching the end of your rope and theres no more control left.
I have a friend who has issues with impulse control. I am constantly seeing signs of them not controlling their impulses, like eating certain foods or buying things on a whim. But then I realized that they actually do control their impulses all the time, they just deal with the issue way more that I do and fail to control the impulses more often. They are actually controlling their impulses way more often than not, they just experience more impulse control failures because they experience a lot more impulsivity than others.