this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2026
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Autism
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My wife has ADHD, and I have wicked social anxiety. This is a constant struggle.
It's tough because what she seems to want most is an active listener, but I literally can't keep up with all of her conversations. It's caused friction before because she'll tell me she's told me something I've forgotten and accused me of not listening to her - but I just can't absorb everything that's being said. Especially when she gets excited and I'd swear she can speak nonstop without pausing for breath.
At the end of the day I view a lot of her speech as like... vocal stimming. And I get easily overstimulated.
It's a communication issue, and when miscommunicating both sides have a part to play. We've worked out a system where if she has something important to say she'll clearly ask me to listen so I can stop what I'm doing and pay attention. And likewise, if she's going too fast I'm allowed to interrupt her to ask her to slow down.