this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2026
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me_irl
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To follow this allegory further:
Sometimes the foundation is fucked up beyond repair. You've brought in specialists, gotten quotes, made repairs, tried old and tested, new and modern, but the experts have told you the foundation is simply fucked and the building is not safe and it never will be with this foundation.
At some point you become aware the damaged foundation is irreparable. The building isn't safe and it never was, it's amazing it's somehow still standing even now.
So do you go build a new building and hope your experience in broken foundations can help you build a strong resilient one? Or do you do what you can to avoid ever being responsible for another foundation out of fear and understanding that you can't maintain strong foundations and don't want to put other buildings at risk?
You can build a frame around the building like a seismic upgrade. The foundation might be fucked still but by building a strong frame around its base and lower floors you can keep it from falling apart when shit gets shaky.
If you are poor or middle class you just have to learn to accept that your parents built you with a faulty foundation and it is up to you to do something about it if you want to succeed. You can't rely on paying others to fix you unless your therapy is covered.
I kinda floated through life for 32 years until I woke up from my first day using CPAP properly and was aware of being aware for the probably the first time in my life. The last 12 years are much more fulfilling and productive than all those other decades.
Can I jump of this allegory for a sec? I think I got lost. Are you referring to having kids yourself even though you know you have mental issues to work on? That is one of the reasons I hear for not wanting to have kids. If you don't want kids don't have them. I'm childfree myself.
If you want kids then have kids. If you have love and want to share it by bringing a baby into the world, good luck. We need people like that. Knowing that you have a messed up foundation will help you build a better one.
I was talking about this to my niece recently. Her dad is messed up, but less messed up then her grand dad. We try to heal the scares of the previous generation and not pass on anymore trauma. Plenty of people fail at that, but if you are asking the questions like 'Will I be a good parent?' then chances are you are doing it right.