this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2026
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How to help my daughter's thin, damaged hair? (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 days ago by proudblond@lemmy.world to c/womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone
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Hi gals, hoping some of you who might have thin hair can help me out. My 10-year-old daughter has thin, straight hair and a lot of it. It tangles if you look at it wrong. It tangles while I’m brushing it, for crying out loud. She prefers to wear it down which doesn’t help, and she loves to swim which also doesn’t help. To me, it feels dry and brittle, especially after swimming and even after letting conditioner sit on it in the shower for a while. After spending 20 minutes brushing it out last night after a day in the pool and a long shower, I told her I at least need to braid it before swimming, but that’s not gonna solve it 100% because her flyaways at the top of her head are still gonna tangle; it’s insane. Anyone have any products or techniques that you swear by to help combat this issue? We go through an awful lot of leave-in conditioner but I feel like it’s just a bandaid to a bigger issue. Thanks in advance!

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[–] ValiantDust@feddit.org 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Are you sure it's straight? I used to think I had mostly straight hair and it tangled a lot too. Turns out it's actually wavy if I take care of it correctly.

Either way, some things you could try are detangling it while conditioning (ideally with a wide-toothed comb) and trying out different conditioners. Not every conditioner works for every hair type. For example everything with coconut oil makes my hair horrible while others love it.

[–] proudblond@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I always thought my hair was straight but have also discovered that it is wavy as an adult. But hers is much finer than mine, and I always thought mine rather fine. I wonder if it comes from my mother-in-law. It doesn’t seem to act quite like mine does, but also it’s fairly damaged and mine is not at all.

I use a comb in the shower with conditioner, and I’ve suggested that she use it, but she’s still a bit inept and managing her own hair (which, I suppose I can’t blame her when it’s so troublesome) and she’s also now at an age where she wants her privacy in the shower, so I can’t easily help her. I guess it’s going to take some trial and error with conditioners. Thank you for the advice!

[–] ValiantDust@feddit.org 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I get it, old enough to want and deserve some privacy and independence, not old enough to manage everything quite as an adult would.

It was hard enough to figure out what my own hair wants and needs, I imagine it's even harder in your situation, so good luck!

I don't know where your hair journey took you, so maybe this is something you already know. But for me the key bit was figuring out the porosity of my hair. I used to think it was mostly about my hair being very fine, but the most relevant key to finding the right products is that it's very low porosity.

[–] proudblond@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Totally. I think I’m learning that hers is more porous than mine, and I can’t expect it to behave like mine does, even though in many ways it looks similar. She’s hitting puberty so her hair is getting oily faster, so I need to learn how to balance the oil management with her higher porosity… anyway, work in progress!