The Deprogram

I still have problems with letting things bottle up and I'm sorry you got an unfair dose of some of it coming out. But yeah, I'm glad we were able to come out the other side without hard feelings.

I live in a neighborhood that is at once wicked and righteous, in our own ways. I get annoyed and frustrated, in my worse moments; in my better ones, I get it and feel angry and sad capitalism (paper/Mammon/Ba’al worship) led us astray. No one wants to listen, because it’s a slow way to power, and it looks like timelines are rushing ahead of our personal and collective development. “We don’t have the right to say we are tired of explaining.” I suppose when I look at it that way and how tired I get off explaining and my own impatience, it puts everything back in perspective.

The timeline stuff can be weird. Maybe it's anxiety talking on my part, but I have times when I'm like "it's a marathon and we must take the time we need" and then sometimes I'll read about climate change or something and be like "yikes, do we even have much time?" I vacillate between wanting to have a healthy long-term view of the future and wondering how many of us have one if we can't change things ASAP. But then OTOH, panicking can lead to adventurism when the conditions and organizing aren't there to back it up. The whole thing reminds me of what people say kinda half-jokingly about marxist-leninists sometimes; how much they can be like Cassandra of Greek mythology, making true predictions but not being believed.