this post was submitted on 05 Jul 2026
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"Our AI has detected you're taking a lot of videos and photos of children in public. If you would like us to not inform your family and workplace of this please sign up for our $99.99 monthly secrecy package."
"We have also signed you up to the GOP mailing list for your convenience in finding like-minded individuals and a sense of community."
"If you think you may require a presidential pardon for any crimes against children that may soon come to light, we can also provide contact with his son, who heads the PPPP (Persidential Pedophile Pardon Program) to arrange that. Our service is $2,500, which must be paid prior to receiving the contact information and is in no way a guarantee of their acceptance or a part of their own fee."
Don't you dare fix that
Blackmail as a Service (BaaS)
You know I woke up a little stopped up and had the idea for Buttholes as a Service. Seems like your idea and mine go together well
I was gonna say into the faraday cage you go but it's probably already on the cloud.