this post was submitted on 06 Jul 2026
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Mental Health

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Why do I so deeply hate myself ? (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 day ago by jason_is_json@lemmy.world to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world
NSFW 12 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

TW: Self hate, and maybe suicide ?

I rarely go out but I thought I would for getting some books in person yesterday. There is a bookstore in the mall and its crowded in weekends. Since its a mall it has mirrors all over the place, why does seeing myself trigger this deep self hatred ? it's almost as if I am ashamed to exist ? I cried and just laid in bed for a while and couldn't eat anything for the rest of the day. This was the worse 'Episode' ever and I have never had something this worse before. Is there a way I can stop it from getting worse ?

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[–] Domi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Have you ever had any gender feelings? I used to have a pretty all encompassing hated for my appearance. Turns out it was the maleness I hated. Presenting femme for the first time unlocked a feeling of euphoria I had never felt before. Transitioning has allowed me to feel self love for the first time in my life.

Sorry if that's way off base, just wanted to throw it out there because a few years ago i had no idea at all that I might be trans. Wishing you the best.

[–] YoureHotCupCake@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Same I remember always staring at myself in the mirror thinking how much I hated myself and how I wished things were different. Eventually I started experimenting with my gender and for the first time started to enjoy my appearance and actually taking care of myself.

Its definitely worth trying.

[–] Domi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 4 hours ago

Its so strange to be so ignorant about something that's so fundamental to yourself isn't it? I'm glad you found your way.