this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2025
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Nah, you're looking at it all wrong.
Trust me, as someone that's been in and out of hospitals for all sorts of shit, wouldn't have it any other way. I'm much healthier in mind and body for it. I go so much harder because of it.
Every piece of your body lost along the way is a hell of a life experience to have that most aren't lucky enough or adventurous enough to experience.
We all die because we're broken. Most of us die broken and boring. Few of us are lucky enough to die broken and with a hell of a story worth listening to.
And trust me, the more broken things you endure over life, the more you'll understand how strong you always were but never tapped into, and how much further you can go. The, "I've had worse" scenario is true. And it's a key that unlocks a much more iteresting and fulfilling life.
Embrace it. It's why you start a new game you've never played before with "Fuck it" selects 'Hard' difficulty. That's it. It's enriching, fulfilling, so much more exciting and worthwhile than 'Normal'.
And the best part is it was never in your control anyway. It was always going to happen. Your one goal during this short phase of conscious nature we call "life" is to experience as much of it as you can before everything goes back to normal nothingness. Make the most of it. Collect as many abnormal experiences as you can and feel fortunate when they happen. Die broken like we all do, but with a smile like so few of us get to.
This is you now. It's exciting. This doesn't happen to most and how fucking boring is that for them. They'll di broken. You'll die broken and smiling when you realise it.
Thanks for the pep talk. But it's not really working, because right now I'm going from being a fairly functional walking person with a reasonably painless double foot amputation that doesn't require much more than a good pair of shoes to a limping sack of shit with intense post-op pain and phantom pain, who can't take care of his family and the house, with the prospect of becoming a not-so-easily-walking individual soon.
I have no doubt I'll die a happy man. That's in my nature. But you'll forgive me if I don't feel super pumped up right now... I want the pain to go away so bad, and I want my family to stop having to pick up the slack.
Wish I could sit down and have a couple beers with you right now.
It's heavy. There's.a lot of tears and a lot of "what if". But it'll pass. If you're sure you'll die happy, then you're already doing better than most.
So I have no doubt that regardless of whether things stay as is or it becomes worse, you'll be better for it. It's not about losing out on the things you used to do, it's bout the cool new things you'd never have done if this moment in life didn't happen.
You're in a moment now where you're looking for empathy and I'm terrible by personality that I offer support with solution or pep before it's due. But trust me, you'll be more than alright, it's just a chapter and this book is really cool once you realise you're the co-author.
For now, get a crossword book. My favourite way to pass time in hospital. Get a journal and start writing pages on pages and reflect on them every couple of weeks to notice how much you're moving along. Don't accept pity from people, only accept those that make you feel comfort.
You'll be fine. Your foot may not be, but that's not up to you 👍 Remember there's lifetimes worth of amazing thing you haven't done yet that don't require a working foot and you may never have thought to experience them if it weren't for this chapter pushing things toward that way. You'll be fine.