this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2025
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Thanks for the pep talk. But it's not really working, because right now I'm going from being a fairly functional walking person with a reasonably painless double foot amputation that doesn't require much more than a good pair of shoes to a limping sack of shit with intense post-op pain and phantom pain, who can't take care of his family and the house, with the prospect of becoming a not-so-easily-walking individual soon.
I have no doubt I'll die a happy man. That's in my nature. But you'll forgive me if I don't feel super pumped up right now... I want the pain to go away so bad, and I want my family to stop having to pick up the slack.
Wish I could sit down and have a couple beers with you right now.
It's heavy. There's.a lot of tears and a lot of "what if". But it'll pass. If you're sure you'll die happy, then you're already doing better than most.
So I have no doubt that regardless of whether things stay as is or it becomes worse, you'll be better for it. It's not about losing out on the things you used to do, it's bout the cool new things you'd never have done if this moment in life didn't happen.
You're in a moment now where you're looking for empathy and I'm terrible by personality that I offer support with solution or pep before it's due. But trust me, you'll be more than alright, it's just a chapter and this book is really cool once you realise you're the co-author.
For now, get a crossword book. My favourite way to pass time in hospital. Get a journal and start writing pages on pages and reflect on them every couple of weeks to notice how much you're moving along. Don't accept pity from people, only accept those that make you feel comfort.
You'll be fine. Your foot may not be, but that's not up to you ๐ Remember there's lifetimes worth of amazing thing you haven't done yet that don't require a working foot and you may never have thought to experience them if it weren't for this chapter pushing things toward that way. You'll be fine.