this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2026
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I personally believe a large part of this is how shitty lots of dads are. I have seen far too many fellow dads who did almost nothing to help with the baby after the baby was born. I know one case where the dad took out multiple weeks in parental leave and mostly spent it on playing video games instead of helping his wife with the baby. Of course that would ruin a relationship. If you were both healthy and had easy going lives then maybe you never really had to depend on each other before and this may be the first point where you actually NEED your partner. And if that partner then doesn't step up you of course would start feeling resentful.
The worst part about this is that it's so easy to be a good dad. Like
I want this so bad, but at 40 years old, I feel like I'm running out of time. I want my kid to see me as a superhero (at least for a couple years), not some tired worn out old man.
It's not too late for you. I have seen some 70 year olds in great shape both mentally and athletically. Start taking care of your diet and start being physically active now. And what greater motivation to stay in shape than being able to be there for your kids?
And even if you turn out to become a tired worn out man anyway I bet they would still appreciate having you than no dad at all.
Oh I'm in great shape, best I've ever been in! I'm even competing in a bodybuilding competition here in a couple weeks ๐ Kinda just makes it even more sad that I'm having such a hard time finding someone to have kids with lol like, damn, I guess it's been my personality this whole time
Douche bag dad would've been a douche bag partner.
Another outcome I've seen is dads who don't try being involved until the child is "fun" usually around 8-10 years old.